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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.
Bonus crack!ficlet in this one, but beware of puns. Please wear appropriate safety equipment to avoid lethal exposure.
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The afterlife of Severus Snape and other characters. This is a religious story, believe it or not, but Sev does go "down south," but I love him anyway: .
All right, "The Devil Went Down to Hogwarts"! I love this song!
-----
After years of believing that he was dead, Severus Snape is seen by none other than Hermione Granger.
Unfortunately, she happens to see him just donning his silvery, translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower. Insert girly squeal here.
They easily become friends, and maybe even more.
"Easily"? Must be AU then.
How many chances can one man truly get?
Well, how much money did one man truly put up for casino chips?
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(There's really nothing wrong with this one. It even seems to be set during the canon Yule Ball, rather than one of the random ones that crop up in so many fics as if it were an American high school prom. But... I had to. I fear the compulsion may be genetic.)
Severus Snape hates Christmas. When he's forced to attend the Yule Ball it was mandatory he is in a fowl mood. Does he chose to stand along the wall inside the Great Hall, or take up Lara Miller's invitation to dance?
Severus knew from the beginning that, festive holly boutonniere or no, the costume was a total cock-up. He sighed and belatedly wished he hadn't allowed himself to get his feathers all ruffled. But even a drunken bet was a bet, and he didn't want to be the one with egg on his face.
The mirror clucked at him as he preened himself one last time, disparaging both his ailing comb and his grooming technique. "We shouldn't like to be you right now, my chick," it said disdainfully. "It'd just gall us! Gall us!"
Severus sneered back at the mirror (albeit the effect was somewhat lessened from his usual) and turned up his beaky nose; he wasn't going to be henpecked by any piece of glass. Finishing his ablutions, he sighed a second time, however. If there had to be a short straw, why did he always have to pull it?
Well, there was nothing for it; it wasn't going to do any good to stay cooped up in here all night brooding. He might as well go out to the ball and find a comfortable, dark corner to roost in. He might be a sneaky, loophole-in-the-rules-of-the-forfeit-finding git, but he was no chicken.
-----
Severus looks back on a moment in his life where he lose a frined and reveils why he became a teacher.
Ah, re-veil it as many times as you like, Severus; nothing is safe from the quill of Rita Skeeter, which is shot with aim so true that Robin Hood himself would be Lincoln -- or should we say acid -- green with envy!
-----
Sawyer Snape is the illegitimate daughter of Severus Snape, when Snape allows her to go to school under the alias name Sawyer Streem what will happen to their relationship as father and daughter?
Does Injun Joe come into it anywhere?
or:
♫ A modern day O.C.
Weird weird type
Today's Snape: Sawyer
Headdesk time... ♫
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Barty/Regalus *SLASH* Regalus was always on early
Man, I know! It was so hard to get a decent weekend morning's sleep-in with that guy in your dorm! (So "Regalus" was well-regulated?)
Barty decided to change that crap summary i know
Good for you, Barty! Change that crap summary! I knew you'd amount to something someday!
-----
He hated this week. Every year it came, and every year he hated it. Hated it and loved it, as he loved her.
And now we are pleased to present that beloved Christmas classic, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch Who Loved Lily.
Rated for mentions of drinking. Challege fic for 13figureskater's Caroline. SSLE one-sided implied. Snape, Lily, unicorns,
I should probably put down the YouTube and back away slowly, but all I can think is "We're going to Candy Mountain, Sevvie! Candy Mountain!!"
Moaing Myrtle,
So it's her fault the moa are extinct?
Beatles.
The only genuine talent in this fic. (Spot the MST3K ref!)
-----
Randomness what does it have to do with peanut butter? Snape is out of character so if you don't like it don't read!
Nah, 's no good. I tried using peanut butter as a random number seed once and my code was licking the roof of its mouth for hours.
-----
DO NOT ATTEMPT! IF you do, we are not responsible. It's just funny!
*tsks* I expected so much more from MythBusters fanfic.
-----
lily just got killed by the dark lord and ended up on deaths door. what will death tell her about why she's there?
I'm sensing imminent games of Battleship and Twister.
Bonus crack!ficlet in this one, but beware of puns. Please wear appropriate safety equipment to avoid lethal exposure.
-----
The afterlife of Severus Snape and other characters. This is a religious story, believe it or not, but Sev does go "down south," but I love him anyway: .
All right, "The Devil Went Down to Hogwarts"! I love this song!
-----
After years of believing that he was dead, Severus Snape is seen by none other than Hermione Granger.
Unfortunately, she happens to see him just donning his silvery, translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower. Insert girly squeal here.
They easily become friends, and maybe even more.
"Easily"? Must be AU then.
How many chances can one man truly get?
Well, how much money did one man truly put up for casino chips?
-----
(There's really nothing wrong with this one. It even seems to be set during the canon Yule Ball, rather than one of the random ones that crop up in so many fics as if it were an American high school prom. But... I had to. I fear the compulsion may be genetic.)
Severus Snape hates Christmas. When he's forced to attend the Yule Ball it was mandatory he is in a fowl mood. Does he chose to stand along the wall inside the Great Hall, or take up Lara Miller's invitation to dance?
Severus knew from the beginning that, festive holly boutonniere or no, the costume was a total cock-up. He sighed and belatedly wished he hadn't allowed himself to get his feathers all ruffled. But even a drunken bet was a bet, and he didn't want to be the one with egg on his face.
The mirror clucked at him as he preened himself one last time, disparaging both his ailing comb and his grooming technique. "We shouldn't like to be you right now, my chick," it said disdainfully. "It'd just gall us! Gall us!"
Severus sneered back at the mirror (albeit the effect was somewhat lessened from his usual) and turned up his beaky nose; he wasn't going to be henpecked by any piece of glass. Finishing his ablutions, he sighed a second time, however. If there had to be a short straw, why did he always have to pull it?
Well, there was nothing for it; it wasn't going to do any good to stay cooped up in here all night brooding. He might as well go out to the ball and find a comfortable, dark corner to roost in. He might be a sneaky, loophole-in-the-rules-of-the-forfeit-finding git, but he was no chicken.
-----
Severus looks back on a moment in his life where he lose a frined and reveils why he became a teacher.
Ah, re-veil it as many times as you like, Severus; nothing is safe from the quill of Rita Skeeter, which is shot with aim so true that Robin Hood himself would be Lincoln -- or should we say acid -- green with envy!
-----
Sawyer Snape is the illegitimate daughter of Severus Snape, when Snape allows her to go to school under the alias name Sawyer Streem what will happen to their relationship as father and daughter?
Does Injun Joe come into it anywhere?
or:
♫ A modern day O.C.
Weird weird type
Today's Snape: Sawyer
Headdesk time... ♫
-----
Barty/Regalus *SLASH* Regalus was always on early
Man, I know! It was so hard to get a decent weekend morning's sleep-in with that guy in your dorm! (So "Regalus" was well-regulated?)
Barty decided to change that crap summary i know
Good for you, Barty! Change that crap summary! I knew you'd amount to something someday!
-----
He hated this week. Every year it came, and every year he hated it. Hated it and loved it, as he loved her.
And now we are pleased to present that beloved Christmas classic, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch Who Loved Lily.
Rated for mentions of drinking. Challege fic for 13figureskater's Caroline. SSLE one-sided implied. Snape, Lily, unicorns,
I should probably put down the YouTube and back away slowly, but all I can think is "We're going to Candy Mountain, Sevvie! Candy Mountain!!"
Moaing Myrtle,
So it's her fault the moa are extinct?
Beatles.
The only genuine talent in this fic. (Spot the MST3K ref!)
-----
Randomness what does it have to do with peanut butter? Snape is out of character so if you don't like it don't read!
Nah, 's no good. I tried using peanut butter as a random number seed once and my code was licking the roof of its mouth for hours.
-----
DO NOT ATTEMPT! IF you do, we are not responsible. It's just funny!
*tsks* I expected so much more from MythBusters fanfic.
-----
lily just got killed by the dark lord and ended up on deaths door. what will death tell her about why she's there?
I'm sensing imminent games of Battleship and Twister.
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 09:05 am (UTC)From:I done told you once, you son of a witch, I'm the best there's ever been...
translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower
Ghostly shower...?
When he's forced to attend the Yule Ball it was mandatory he is in a fowl mood.
Wow, I can't believe a good writer could cock up a description like that.
Barty/Regalus *SLASH* Regalus was always on early
"Reg, dear, get off me, I'm trying to sleep..."
I should probably put down the YouTube and back away slowly, but all I can think is "We're going to Candy Mountain, Sevvie! Candy Mountain!!"
...
Goddammit.
Nah, 's no good. I tried using peanut butter as a random number seed once and my code was licking the roof of its mouth for hours.
Wow... I read "peanut butter" and "Snape" and my mind went in a whole other direction (though there was licking involved)...
what will death tell her about why she's there?
I'm sensing imminent games of Battleship and Twister.
Just don't suggest limbo... The Grim Reaper's been down that road before, and it didn't end well (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Grim_Adventures_of_Billy_and_Mandy) for him...
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC)From:I dunno, whatever ghosts do to bathe?
...
Goddammit.
Now it's going to be in your head all day, isn't it?
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 09:53 am (UTC)From:Where I'm from, this also refers to oral sex. As in, "Dave finally went down south. It was underwhelming". So... yeah.
I'm sensing imminent games of Battleship and Twister.
Hahahahahaha! And Cluedo, presumably? XD
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)From:Hahahahahaha! And Cluedo, presumably? XD
How is that pronounced, anyway? Like "dew" or like "dough"? (Because obviously to me it's just "Clue".)
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 01:17 pm (UTC)From:Bwahahahahaaaa *gasp* hahahahahaaaaa!
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 05:36 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 08:44 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 03:10 pm (UTC)From:Are they saying that the south is Hell? I know it's hot down here and the humidity will make you miserable. But it's not that hot!
Hilarious as always!
Also: SHUN!!!!!!! Shuuuuuuun the non-believer!!!!1!!!
no subject
Date: April 14th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)From:Conversely, is Heaven north? They must really like melting polar ice or something. Or maybe it's that weird Jesus/Santa/Merlin theology that's in this weird Mexican Christmas movie they showed as an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
no subject
Date: April 15th, 2009 11:01 am (UTC)From:LOL!
Randomness what does it have to do with peanut butter?
What indeed...:P
Barty decided to change that crap summary i know
Good for you, Barty! Change that crap summary! I knew you'd amount to something someday!
*laughs* If only Harry could be half as proactive as this in Deathly Hallows...
no subject
Date: April 15th, 2009 05:49 pm (UTC)From:lol!