Here's the "official version" warts and all. I think any prior errors have been ironed out, but it was written by the lovely Becca (with some additional brainstorming help from the rest of us on minor details):
A Headmaster's Tale 'Tis late on a Friday Our story begins When Hogwarts's new Headmistress, To her chagrin,
Was summoned from dinner To deal once more With youths caught fighting Inside Greenhouse Four.
The first boy, a Gryffindor, Kept yelling abuses While the other, a Slytherin, Had naught but excuses.
Professor Longbottom, In exasperation, Apprehended the boys And made this declaration,
"You will wait for the Headmistress Here, in peace, Until she is done with the Halloween feast."
"But sir!" said the one, "It just isn't fair!" "The fault is all his!" Said the next with a glare.
But it was no use, So a bit bruised and bloody They sat 'fore the desk In the Headmistress's study.
Not a moment had passed After Neville departed When the loud, angry shouting Had once again started.
"You're nasty! You're evil!" The young man in red Exclaimed to his foe Who stood up and said,
"Look who is talking! It wasn't my curse That landed us here And made everything worse!
Some Gryffindor you are!" He said with great scorn, And preened his green robes Which were dirty and torn.
Just then, the discussion Was further disrupted When a voice from the wall Suddenly interrupted.
"Well, well, well," Sniffed a man dressed in black. "I see little's changed Since my death in the shack.
Potter and Malfoy Are at it again. And I'm still as bored as I was Way back then."
"But Headmaster Snape!" The young Slytherin objected, But the man in the portrait Remained quite unaffected.
"Let me tell you a story," Said the former Headmaster, "Of two students who met with The gravest disaster.
It was All Hallow's Eve, Much like this one tonight, When two stupid dunderheads Decided to fight.
They each had been warned By both teachers and peers, But those warnings all fell On the deafest of ears.
So one snook from the dungeons And one from his tower To do battle at midnight, That most magical hour.
And each boy thought nothing Of sneaking outdoors To duel on school grounds Since they'd done it before.
If only they'd paused To consider the date, For any smart first-year Can surely relate
How on Halloween night Hogwarts suffers a curse And things, for the unwary, Take a turn for the worse."
The Gryffindor lad Pulled a frown, shook his head And scoffed, "I don't buy A single word you've said.
Why is it that I've never Heard of this mystery?" To which Snape replied coldly, "Read Hogwarts: a History.
Too bad the young duelers Also hadn't read it. If they had, they most certainly Wouldn't regret it.
For then, they would never have Chosen to fight On the dark grounds of Hogwarts That Halloween night.
They met near the lake With hate in their eyes, Each carefully plotting The other's demise.
The one who was dressed in robes Just like yours, Potter, Soon forced his opponent Straight into the water.
And neither boy noticed The danger arising Which, considering the subjects, Isn't surprising.
So young Mr. Potter," Said Snape to the kid, "Guess how many tentacles Has our Giant Squid."
"Nine, maybe ten?" Potter answered astutely. The former Headmaster Replied, "Absolutely,
But since you won't know this, I'll give you a clue: That cephalopod started out With just two.
Now, normally the Squid Is quite friendly and gentle But on Halloween night It can go rather mental,
------------- It appears it's too long to post in one comment, so I'll have to post it in parts.
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chiming
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Date: November 23rd, 2007 04:22 pm (UTC)From:A Headmaster's Tale
'Tis late on a Friday
Our story begins
When Hogwarts's new Headmistress,
To her chagrin,
Was summoned from dinner
To deal once more
With youths caught fighting
Inside Greenhouse Four.
The first boy, a Gryffindor,
Kept yelling abuses
While the other, a Slytherin,
Had naught but excuses.
Professor Longbottom,
In exasperation,
Apprehended the boys
And made this declaration,
"You will wait for the Headmistress
Here, in peace,
Until she is done with the
Halloween feast."
"But sir!" said the one,
"It just isn't fair!"
"The fault is all his!"
Said the next with a glare.
But it was no use,
So a bit bruised and bloody
They sat 'fore the desk
In the Headmistress's study.
Not a moment had passed
After Neville departed
When the loud, angry shouting
Had once again started.
"You're nasty! You're evil!"
The young man in red
Exclaimed to his foe
Who stood up and said,
"Look who is talking!
It wasn't my curse
That landed us here
And made everything worse!
Some Gryffindor you are!"
He said with great scorn,
And preened his green robes
Which were dirty and torn.
Just then, the discussion
Was further disrupted
When a voice from the wall
Suddenly interrupted.
"Well, well, well,"
Sniffed a man dressed in black.
"I see little's changed
Since my death in the shack.
Potter and Malfoy
Are at it again.
And I'm still as bored as I was
Way back then."
"But Headmaster Snape!"
The young Slytherin objected,
But the man in the portrait
Remained quite unaffected.
"Let me tell you a story,"
Said the former Headmaster,
"Of two students who met with
The gravest disaster.
It was All Hallow's Eve,
Much like this one tonight,
When two stupid dunderheads
Decided to fight.
They each had been warned
By both teachers and peers,
But those warnings all fell
On the deafest of ears.
So one snook from the dungeons
And one from his tower
To do battle at midnight,
That most magical hour.
And each boy thought nothing
Of sneaking outdoors
To duel on school grounds
Since they'd done it before.
If only they'd paused
To consider the date,
For any smart first-year
Can surely relate
How on Halloween night
Hogwarts suffers a curse
And things, for the unwary,
Take a turn for the worse."
The Gryffindor lad
Pulled a frown, shook his head
And scoffed, "I don't buy
A single word you've said.
Why is it that I've never
Heard of this mystery?"
To which Snape replied coldly,
"Read Hogwarts: a History.
Too bad the young duelers
Also hadn't read it.
If they had, they most certainly
Wouldn't regret it.
For then, they would never have
Chosen to fight
On the dark grounds of Hogwarts
That Halloween night.
They met near the lake
With hate in their eyes,
Each carefully plotting
The other's demise.
The one who was dressed in robes
Just like yours, Potter,
Soon forced his opponent
Straight into the water.
And neither boy noticed
The danger arising
Which, considering the subjects,
Isn't surprising.
So young Mr. Potter,"
Said Snape to the kid,
"Guess how many tentacles
Has our Giant Squid."
"Nine, maybe ten?"
Potter answered astutely.
The former Headmaster
Replied, "Absolutely,
But since you won't know this,
I'll give you a clue:
That cephalopod started out
With just two.
Now, normally the Squid
Is quite friendly and gentle
But on Halloween night
It can go rather mental,
-------------
It appears it's too long to post in one comment, so I'll have to post it in parts.