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I keep seeking out Deathly Hallows meta, even reading back over lengthy discussions in which I participated in the first place. I know what I think of most of the events ("I confess myself... disappointed") and the apparent message ("...ick"); at least, I think I do. But I am still coming to terms with all the people. I have not got my emotions sorted out yet. What do I really think and feel about Dumbledore, Harry, Sirius, Lupin, Lily, James...?
Notice Severus himself isn't on that list, but the most problematic of course is the whole Severus/Lily thing. I have a serious love/hate relationship with that. I'll spare you gory details, which I have erased three sets of in this post. (DH is enough dull exposition without me adding to the heap. ^_~) But I am coming to the conclusion that part of what I love is a "might have been" kind of ideal, and not what we are actually shown. (Any resemblance to the inclinations of Potions masters living or dead is purely coincidental.)
I find it a little strange that my brain apparently can consider a book to be a trauma or shock that has to be coped with, not to mention that the processing is still going on four months later.
Notice Severus himself isn't on that list, but the most problematic of course is the whole Severus/Lily thing. I have a serious love/hate relationship with that. I'll spare you gory details, which I have erased three sets of in this post. (DH is enough dull exposition without me adding to the heap. ^_~) But I am coming to the conclusion that part of what I love is a "might have been" kind of ideal, and not what we are actually shown. (Any resemblance to the inclinations of Potions masters living or dead is purely coincidental.)
I find it a little strange that my brain apparently can consider a book to be a trauma or shock that has to be coped with, not to mention that the processing is still going on four months later.