some kind of snark faery (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
arcanetrivia) wrote2009-07-10 02:16 am
arcanetrivia) wrote2009-07-10 02:16 am
some summaries for the weekend
(yeah, weekend, since I have three-day weekends through Sept. 11. by force, but I have the vacation to cover it so I don't have to work 10-hour days the rest of the week. yay.)
Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.
-----
“Magic Severus, it does wonderful things.”
*blinks* Did fanfiction.net turn into a sex toy shop when I wasn't looking?
(...and do you think they take PayPal?)
-----
For the summer before 5th year, Severus Snape is sent to Number 5 Privet Dr. to keep an eye on Harry Potter.
Sounds like Mrs. Across-the-Street is in for quite a surprise.
Nothing is more shocking than what he will see when he grudgingly takes this mission.
Then again, maybe it's Severus who's in for one.
-----
Sequel to TTPP:LLihS. READ THAT FIRST!
Hey, maybe you read and write Parseltongue, but I don't.
Torie's returned and is falling deeper than she ever imagine. Her actions are unknown and people are worried.
I know I am.
Who is Torie Potter now? And why is everything different now?
Oh, look, someone seems to have switched our "author" and "reader" placecards. No wonder you're confused.
RegulusOC JPLE with signs of SBOC and RLOC
...followed by some SSRB in the afternoon and a slight chance of HPDM as we head towards the weekend.
-----
NON-magic. AU. Things are a little diffrent here, but Tom and co. are still making a mess of Severus' Life.
*cough*
-----
This has an explaination inside it.
Good, because I have a feeling I'm about to demand one.
-----
This is a story about a very unfortunate boy. A boy who struggles. Constantly. As you walk through the life os Severus Snape you see the bong, the fails, the pain, and the love. However, you see the will to survive.
Wait, wait -- as I walk through his life I see the what now? *reads fic*
It was like black liquor, silky as a ribbon and forbidden to the young. One could simply stare and drink [with your eyes] the silk and [with you lips] the swill that sat in front of you. But this drink was not water, it was not medicine, it was not anything that could be drank. But poison it was not. It was simply an imaginary drink, it was not existent.
How long are his fingers and how pale do they seem? White as snow in an ice cave, the light he sees little of, but why is it so intriguing? They stretch long, skinny-like, but gentle in their maladroit ways. And what if that black liquor touched his pale hand? Should he become stained with that darkness?
...
Uh... yeah. Yeah, I see the bong, all right.
-----
snape has a daughter he never knew he had. i had tp edit cause i didnt do my math correctly.
Editing for poor math? Well, that's more than we can say for JKR.
("Tp edit"? You wrote this on toilet paper?)
-----
Harry Potter Is 9 Years Old When A Man Called Snape Appeared In His Back Yard And Disappeared To Some Castle
Really He Was Only There For A Few Seconds And He Didn't Do Anything So I Don't Really Know Why I Mention It Except That It Was Kind Of Weird In The First Place
Don't Ask How Harry Knows Snape Disappeared To Some Castle When He Couldn't Possibly See Where He Went He Just Knows Okay He's Harry Effing Potter
please note also the entire contents of this story at the time I looked at it:
Attention All Readers , Just To Let You Know I Am Slow At Updating But Should Be Faster This Summer
~~~John
"Slow"? At this rate you're practically going backwards!
Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.
-----
“Magic Severus, it does wonderful things.”
*blinks* Did fanfiction.net turn into a sex toy shop when I wasn't looking?
(...and do you think they take PayPal?)
-----
For the summer before 5th year, Severus Snape is sent to Number 5 Privet Dr. to keep an eye on Harry Potter.
Sounds like Mrs. Across-the-Street is in for quite a surprise.
Nothing is more shocking than what he will see when he grudgingly takes this mission.
Then again, maybe it's Severus who's in for one.
-----
Sequel to TTPP:LLihS. READ THAT FIRST!
Hey, maybe you read and write Parseltongue, but I don't.
Torie's returned and is falling deeper than she ever imagine. Her actions are unknown and people are worried.
I know I am.
Who is Torie Potter now? And why is everything different now?
Oh, look, someone seems to have switched our "author" and "reader" placecards. No wonder you're confused.
RegulusOC JPLE with signs of SBOC and RLOC
...followed by some SSRB in the afternoon and a slight chance of HPDM as we head towards the weekend.
-----
NON-magic. AU. Things are a little diffrent here, but Tom and co. are still making a mess of Severus' Life.
*cough*
-----
This has an explaination inside it.
Good, because I have a feeling I'm about to demand one.
-----
This is a story about a very unfortunate boy. A boy who struggles. Constantly. As you walk through the life os Severus Snape you see the bong, the fails, the pain, and the love. However, you see the will to survive.
Wait, wait -- as I walk through his life I see the what now? *reads fic*
It was like black liquor, silky as a ribbon and forbidden to the young. One could simply stare and drink [with your eyes] the silk and [with you lips] the swill that sat in front of you. But this drink was not water, it was not medicine, it was not anything that could be drank. But poison it was not. It was simply an imaginary drink, it was not existent.
How long are his fingers and how pale do they seem? White as snow in an ice cave, the light he sees little of, but why is it so intriguing? They stretch long, skinny-like, but gentle in their maladroit ways. And what if that black liquor touched his pale hand? Should he become stained with that darkness?
...
Uh... yeah. Yeah, I see the bong, all right.
-----
snape has a daughter he never knew he had. i had tp edit cause i didnt do my math correctly.
Editing for poor math? Well, that's more than we can say for JKR.
("Tp edit"? You wrote this on toilet paper?)
-----
Harry Potter Is 9 Years Old When A Man Called Snape Appeared In His Back Yard And Disappeared To Some Castle
Really He Was Only There For A Few Seconds And He Didn't Do Anything So I Don't Really Know Why I Mention It Except That It Was Kind Of Weird In The First Place
Don't Ask How Harry Knows Snape Disappeared To Some Castle When He Couldn't Possibly See Where He Went He Just Knows Okay He's Harry Effing Potter
please note also the entire contents of this story at the time I looked at it:
Attention All Readers , Just To Let You Know I Am Slow At Updating But Should Be Faster This Summer
~~~John
"Slow"? At this rate you're practically going backwards!