>VERBOSE

I'm not doing those fanfic summaries posts anymore, but this one felt like it would fit right in...

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i wish you hadn't

You know, I have a funny feeling I'm going to be saying the exact same thing.

Spotted this fanfic summary today:

Emmett Cullen was born as Harry Potter. When the Killing Curse hit him, he was sent back in time. Now, Emmett has been found and he's thrust into the Wizarding World.

That's pretty strange as it is, but I misread Cullen as Carver and was like, what. The fuck. How do you even cross over Gracepoint like that?

Seems like you don't, fortunately.

*sporfle* No, I am not going back to my old ways, but with a summary like this, I just had to:

Harry has to serve a week of dentition with Snape after a prank gone bad...

Now there's a punishment with some teeth in it.

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are merely mediocre, and sometimes quite okay. They just all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

Extra note: Ladies and germs, I think this is probably going to be the last of these posts. It's been fun, but it's become just One More Scary Thing weighing me down with the feeling of others' expectations, which is kind of funny, because the other reason I think it's time to close up is that actually very few people seem to enjoy this kind of thing. I have MST3K riffing in my DNA, but it takes a particular kind of taste. I think also that some people may be faintly offended at my poking fun like this, and it seems a little hypocritical, or sympathetic-magicky: if I want to be excused and forgiven, I have to excuse and forgive others.

That said, onward:

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A Wizarding photo of a doe, strolls the halls of Hogwarts like a ghost that was not. One boy, wandering alone, grinds sugar against the canvas. Thus invisibility is broken by a trail of sweet. One discovery begs another, and what comes to light...

Huh. I don't get Beat poetry.

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Severus must spend the night in the hospital wing, luckily he has a redheaded visitor.

Anne of Green Gables?

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Short fic again,I know Snape stumbles across the same thing twice, poor guy...

Well if Fred and George would stop leaving the damn thing there...

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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are merely mediocre, and sometimes quite okay. They just all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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Sequel to The Great Tragedy of Severus Snape. SLASH Harry and Severus have been married for five years when Severus has an accident

Sounds like it's time for some rubber sheets.

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A sequel to 'Harry Get's Engaged' you could read this without reading the first one but i wouldnt.

Guy at the end of the story will totally shank you.

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Remus gets a card for his Birthday, full of promice, and smut.

Ooh! Those are much fancier than amateur mice.

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Just misread (actually correctly spelled) "watersports" warning on a fic as "waterspots". Was about to put it in a summaries post with a comment of "Maybe it's time to put more rinse agent in your word processor?" Darn.

Had a fitting today for the Sinistra costume planned for Aeternitas. Mockup was definitely high wizarding fashion, what with the festive light blue floral print cotton and mismatching plain muslin sleeve (one only available). Husband thought it looked good and agreed with seamstress that there should be gores in the robe/coat skirt. I, true to form, thought the thing made me look fat (even allowing for the fact it was turned inside out for pinning seams and made of something that would look better as a picnic tablecloth). Mrr, well. Maybe it'll be better in the black spangled satin.

(sorry for the repost - I appear to have screwed up somehow on the first one.)

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are merely mediocre, and sometimes quite okay. They just all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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What if the Girl Who lived was turned into a kitten, by Ron who messed up his charm wording?

Ooer. That's an unfortunate nickname. Wonder how Ron came by it.

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Severus remembers when he fell in love with Hermione and writes her a letter. Inspired by David Bowies song

...entitled "I'm Afraid of Americans (Writing Fanfic)".

(unfortunately for this joke, the writer turns out to actually be British. shhh.)

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Be blind. It doesn't matter

The DMV begs to differ.

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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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This is the continuation of HP 6 where Ron leaves Lavender to go find Romilda Vane. What happens which makes Harry and Snape end up together!

Wait-- what?? I think I just got ficlash.

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(the entire summary)

Harry goes into labour

Yeah, I didn't really see him as a Tory.

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Hermione is a skipper? Who would have thought? Snape did. Hermione gets caught. What will happen? I guess you'll just have to click, scroll, then review. Oh dear...the cat is out of the bag. Rated T...for now -evil laugh- MC-Hermione,Snape and Lupin.

Hermione's a rapping boat captain?

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It's been a while since I made a summary post, so, here: submitted for your approval, even though there aren't ten of them (the usual threshold).

Note on this one, if you're not familiar with the fanfiction.net rating system: "T" is a "teen" rating and "M" is "mature".

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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It's after the Final Battle and beacuse of all the damage at Hotgwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, school was set back a year. So Hermione, harry, and Ron are in their 7th year of school. This year they don't have to wear uniforms.

No wonder it's Hotgwarts then! WOOOO! NAKED TIME!

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What if the Potters survived the attack & thought Tony was the Boy-Who-Lived?

Tony? Who's Tony? I don't know no Tony.

And they abandoned 15 month old Harry and 7 month old Justin?

Then, uh... they'd be bad parents?

(What Justin? Justin Finch-Fletchley? How'd they get a hold of him?)

Severus adopts Harry and Justin. T is 4 detailed descriptions!

Good call. Children can't handle details.

P.S. This story is childhood-Harry post-graduation.

My, my, Harry's quite the prodigy, isn't he?

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Hermione is given a clue.

"Oh, thank you, but I already have plenty of these. Here, Ron, you take it. And be sure to share it with Harry!"

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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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(this story has been deleted)

Severus is good at being a spy, but his most guarded secrets are about to light.

And then we can start grilling the steaks.

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Dont read this unless you want to die. Seriously.

What is this, The Ring?

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What happens when the great J.K. Rowling not me, of course has problems with punctuation?

Oh no, not YOU, of course.

MADNESS! No slash.

*gasp* No slash? That IS madness!!!

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