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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.
This issue features some assistance from my lovely husband![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
enotsola.
-----
Hermione Jean Granger is in reality Isabella Roseanna Dumbledore, the only grand daughter of Albus Dumbledore.
Also known as Isabella Roseanne Roseannadanna Dumbledore.
In the summer before her fifth year, she was called into ihs office one day and asked to do the unthinkable and marry Severus Tobias Snape.
Given how many fic authors and fangirls do apparently think about it... I do not think this word means what you think it means.
and his middle name isn't Tobias dammit
-----
Kiki Suicide Rose goes to hogwarts skewl dna meets her new boi. see whjat happens as kiki tries to make ti through her seventh year at da skwel.
Thank you for your interest, miss, but I'm afraid we are not seeking a replacement for My Immortal at this time.
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harry comes back from the future to save the lifes of those that he loves; in progress
When he gets that broom up to 88 miles an hour...
-----
After a deatheater raid on Hogwarts, Hermione Granger is stuck, helpless, with her enemy. Her enemy, being Draco Malfoy, wants nothing more then to be rid of this insignificant, insufferable know-it-all mudblood! However, Lucius has another idea.SMUT!
(Heh heh, always knew ol' Lucie was a perv!)
Draco glanced at the stack of "reading material" his father had provided for himself and Hermione and quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously. "FATHER!" he all but wailed. "Could you possibly be any more embarrassing?!"
"There's no need to behave like a three-year-old, Draco. Believe me, it will help pass the time. And other things may occur to you which would help pass it even more satisfactorily."
"With that Mudblood? Oh, I'm going to be ill."
Hermione rolled up the issue of Moste Potente Pure-bloodes Monthely she had been leafing through and whacked Draco on the arse with it. "You ought to listen to your elders, Malfoy," she said lasciviously.
-----
Remus,James, Sirius and it meaning peter. Murdering scum! , at school.
"O alas, I am slain," said the bath tub mildew, and dribbled to the floor.
"Nice one, Prongs, Padfoot!"
"Not bad yourselves there, Moony, Wormtail!"
"So what next? Fancy assassinating that stuff in the toilet bowl?"
"How about slaughtering whatever that guck was you left in the sink the last time you shaved?"
"At least I can shave! I think we should execute your socks, frankly."
"Hey...!"
-----
One summer evening before Teddy begins Hogwarts, George Weasley predicts the spouses of the next generation kids. Pairs include BW/FD,PW/AW,GW/AJ, RW/HG,HP/GW,TL/VW,DW/OC,LucyW/OC,MWII/OC,LW/OC,FWII/OC,RoxanneW/OC,RW/SM,HW/OC,JSP/OC,ASP/OC,LLP/OC
Also AB/CED, FG/HI, JK/LMN, OP/QR, and STU/VW/XYZ.
-----
What changes when one little thing happens differently? Harry gets his Hogwarts letter from someone completly different
John Cleese?
-----
Severus and his friend Jessica are finishing up hogwarts together. They can only hope that the war dosent tear them apart.
But as everyone knows, it's love that will tear us apart, so they should be just fine.
-----
Draco must seal the deal. He MUST do it. Not by want... but by need. It's the only way to ensure his families survival. Draco Malfoy MUST kill Dumbledore. But there is only one person who can stop him... HERMIONE GRANGER.
Draco: I MUST kill Dumbledore!
Hermione: *roundhouse kicks the Dark Mark right off Draco's arm*
(There are no Death Eaters; there are only those whom HERMIONE GRANGER has not yet made to eat death.)
-----
There's something inside of Harry. Something that wants to breathe.
Tsk, tsk; didn't I tell him it was bad luck to pal around with Sigourney Weaver?
-----
(this story has been deleted ; the entire summary:)
What happens when Gohan ends up in the HP world?
Harry Potter's power level goes OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!!!!
This issue features some assistance from my lovely husband
enotsola.-----
Hermione Jean Granger is in reality Isabella Roseanna Dumbledore, the only grand daughter of Albus Dumbledore.
Also known as Isabella Roseanne Roseannadanna Dumbledore.
In the summer before her fifth year, she was called into ihs office one day and asked to do the unthinkable and marry Severus Tobias Snape.
Given how many fic authors and fangirls do apparently think about it... I do not think this word means what you think it means.
-----
Kiki Suicide Rose goes to hogwarts skewl dna meets her new boi. see whjat happens as kiki tries to make ti through her seventh year at da skwel.
Thank you for your interest, miss, but I'm afraid we are not seeking a replacement for My Immortal at this time.
-----
harry comes back from the future to save the lifes of those that he loves; in progress
When he gets that broom up to 88 miles an hour...
-----
After a deatheater raid on Hogwarts, Hermione Granger is stuck, helpless, with her enemy. Her enemy, being Draco Malfoy, wants nothing more then to be rid of this insignificant, insufferable know-it-all mudblood! However, Lucius has another idea.SMUT!
(Heh heh, always knew ol' Lucie was a perv!)
Draco glanced at the stack of "reading material" his father had provided for himself and Hermione and quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously. "FATHER!" he all but wailed. "Could you possibly be any more embarrassing?!"
"There's no need to behave like a three-year-old, Draco. Believe me, it will help pass the time. And other things may occur to you which would help pass it even more satisfactorily."
"With that Mudblood? Oh, I'm going to be ill."
Hermione rolled up the issue of Moste Potente Pure-bloodes Monthely she had been leafing through and whacked Draco on the arse with it. "You ought to listen to your elders, Malfoy," she said lasciviously.
-----
Remus,James, Sirius and it meaning peter. Murdering scum! , at school.
"O alas, I am slain," said the bath tub mildew, and dribbled to the floor.
"Nice one, Prongs, Padfoot!"
"Not bad yourselves there, Moony, Wormtail!"
"So what next? Fancy assassinating that stuff in the toilet bowl?"
"How about slaughtering whatever that guck was you left in the sink the last time you shaved?"
"At least I can shave! I think we should execute your socks, frankly."
"Hey...!"
-----
One summer evening before Teddy begins Hogwarts, George Weasley predicts the spouses of the next generation kids. Pairs include BW/FD,PW/AW,GW/AJ, RW/HG,HP/GW,TL/VW,DW/OC,LucyW/OC,MWII/OC,LW/OC,FWII/OC,RoxanneW/OC,RW/SM,HW/OC,JSP/OC,ASP/OC,LLP/OC
Also AB/CED, FG/HI, JK/LMN, OP/QR, and STU/VW/XYZ.
-----
What changes when one little thing happens differently? Harry gets his Hogwarts letter from someone completly different
John Cleese?
-----
Severus and his friend Jessica are finishing up hogwarts together. They can only hope that the war dosent tear them apart.
But as everyone knows, it's love that will tear us apart, so they should be just fine.
-----
Draco must seal the deal. He MUST do it. Not by want... but by need. It's the only way to ensure his families survival. Draco Malfoy MUST kill Dumbledore. But there is only one person who can stop him... HERMIONE GRANGER.
Draco: I MUST kill Dumbledore!
Hermione: *roundhouse kicks the Dark Mark right off Draco's arm*
(There are no Death Eaters; there are only those whom HERMIONE GRANGER has not yet made to eat death.)
-----
There's something inside of Harry. Something that wants to breathe.
Tsk, tsk; didn't I tell him it was bad luck to pal around with Sigourney Weaver?
-----
(this story has been deleted ; the entire summary:)
What happens when Gohan ends up in the HP world?
Harry Potter's power level goes OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!!!!
no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:01 am (UTC)From:Hermione: "You can't kill Dumbledore!"
Draco: "I MUST kill Dumbledore!"
Hermione: "You CAN'T kill Dumbledore!"
Snape, cranky: "*I*'ll kill Dumbledore."
Draco: "My heeeero! Um, hang on."
no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)From:Also known as Isabella Roseanne Roseannadanna Dumbledore.
"I don't know why everyone wants revenge on that snake that killed Dumbledore. I mean, it's a tragedy, sure, but snakes are just one of God's creatures. They act on instinct; it's not as if the snake was evil or anything. And, you know, snakes are an important part of the ecosystem; they help control the rodent population, and--"
"No, Hermione, it's wasn't a snake... Snape killed Dumbledore. Ya know, Professor Snape...?"
"Ooooh.. Well, that's different...
Never mind."
"Kiki"
Will she be running the Hogwarts Delivery Service?
When he gets that broom up to 88 miles an hour...
You think he would just look for a police telephone box...
"Remus,James, Sirius and it meaning peter. Murdering scum! , at school."
I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me...
"At least I can shave! I think we should execute your socks, frankly."
"Hey...!"
Heehee...
Also AB/CED, FG/HI, JK/LMN, OP/QR, and STU/VW/XYZ
Ya know, I was in a fandom where many of the characters' names were also numbers, so the pairings often ended up being, "1/3", or "5/13".
no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:09 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:16 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:21 am (UTC)From:*snerk*
I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me...
I think they are referring to Peter as an "it" because they hate him: "Remus, James, Sirius, and 'it', meaning Peter (murdering scum!)." But... yeah.
no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:22 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)From:I think it's either form a silent movie or an old vaudeville sketch.
no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)From:Woah, I don't even have a clue what those pairings are. @_@ What the hell is RW/SM?
Wait! Wait! I just figured it out. Ugh.
Thanks for the laughs Elethian! You are quite the brave one to be searching Fanfiction.net!
It's a jungle out there.
no subject
Date: September 23rd, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)From:Also, awesome use of time! :))
Now I totally want to write a story with a character named Kiki Suicide! DAMN!!
no subject
Date: September 29th, 2009 10:48 am (UTC)From:And oh, gosh, this takes me to my happy place, and considering the worl of fanfiction, I do not think I want to return here ever again... However, I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of "Moste Potente Pure-bloodes Monthely" XD
...who knew that Hermione Granger was the daughter of CHUCK NORRIS? Then again, he has probably sired every child in existence through his pure manlyness...
no subject
Date: September 29th, 2009 10:49 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 29th, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)From:See also
no subject
Date: September 29th, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 29th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 30th, 2009 08:25 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: September 30th, 2009 10:35 am (UTC)From: