![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
"Harry Potter and the Cubic Zirconium of Doom":
DUMBLEDORE: Before we begin, I would like to set up a few rules for Harry Potter to break.
...
PERCY: That’s Professor Snape; he’s head of Slytherin house. He teaches potions, but everybody knows he’s a pervy defence against the Dark Arts fancier. [points at current name and giggles]
...
HARRY: Who? The fangirls?
OLIVER: (slaps a hand over Harry’s mouth) Shut up; they’ll hear you!
HARRY: Mrrnf.
OLIVER: Now then... Quidditch is fairly easy to learn. It requires two baseball players, three basketball players, and a goalie. It also requires a seeker. That’s you.
HARRY: Uh, Wood, why are you talking with an American accent?
OLIVER: The Irish one is too sexy. Can’t risk it.
"Harry Potter and the Plumbing of Doom":
MESSAGE ON WALL: Chamber of Secrets: Grand Re-Opening! Lowest prices on death and destruction in the greater Hogsmeade area! Ask about our mudblood discounts!
...
Snape and Lockhart assume their dueling positions. Snape’s worn a delightfully tight-fitting coat just for the occasion.
LOCKHART: One…two…five!
HARRY: Three, sir!
LOCKHART: Three!
...
DUMBLEDORE: Marvelous creatures, phoenixes. They can do whatever the plot requires of them whenever it is called for.
"A Pointlessly Sarcastic Story about Nothing At All With a Longwinded Title to Try to Make Up For It":
"So they cast the spells and it turned out that, despite what he said, Draco really did give a flying fuck."
rofl.
And now for a pet peeve moment:
Sev-er-us. It's got three, and only three, perfectly good syllables unless one of the following conditions applies:
1. You're going for comedic effect in a humour/crack/parody fic.
2. He's being teased.
3. It's Lily talking, and even then, she only gets "Sev". (Still makes me cringe, though.)
Otherwise, nobody, but nobody else gets to shorten it or otherwise alter it. Capisce? ("Done." "Feels good." All: "Beatniks!")
DUMBLEDORE: Before we begin, I would like to set up a few rules for Harry Potter to break.
...
PERCY: That’s Professor Snape; he’s head of Slytherin house. He teaches potions, but everybody knows he’s a pervy defence against the Dark Arts fancier. [points at current name and giggles]
...
HARRY: Who? The fangirls?
OLIVER: (slaps a hand over Harry’s mouth) Shut up; they’ll hear you!
HARRY: Mrrnf.
OLIVER: Now then... Quidditch is fairly easy to learn. It requires two baseball players, three basketball players, and a goalie. It also requires a seeker. That’s you.
HARRY: Uh, Wood, why are you talking with an American accent?
OLIVER: The Irish one is too sexy. Can’t risk it.
"Harry Potter and the Plumbing of Doom":
MESSAGE ON WALL: Chamber of Secrets: Grand Re-Opening! Lowest prices on death and destruction in the greater Hogsmeade area! Ask about our mudblood discounts!
...
Snape and Lockhart assume their dueling positions. Snape’s worn a delightfully tight-fitting coat just for the occasion.
LOCKHART: One…two…five!
HARRY: Three, sir!
LOCKHART: Three!
...
DUMBLEDORE: Marvelous creatures, phoenixes. They can do whatever the plot requires of them whenever it is called for.
"A Pointlessly Sarcastic Story about Nothing At All With a Longwinded Title to Try to Make Up For It":
"So they cast the spells and it turned out that, despite what he said, Draco really did give a flying fuck."
rofl.
And now for a pet peeve moment:
Sev-er-us. It's got three, and only three, perfectly good syllables unless one of the following conditions applies:
1. You're going for comedic effect in a humour/crack/parody fic.
2. He's being teased.
3. It's Lily talking, and even then, she only gets "Sev". (Still makes me cringe, though.)
Otherwise, nobody, but nobody else gets to shorten it or otherwise alter it. Capisce? ("Done." "Feels good." All: "Beatniks!")