audiobook editions

I borrowed the new PoA audiobook we got in at work, thinking it might be a bit of a laugh. I wondered how much Jim Dale would tend to voice acting rather than straight reading. I took a guess at what would be a good bit and popped in the ninth disc, which happily turned out to start with "The Servant of Lord Voldemort" (Snape shows up in the Shack, argues with Lupin, threatens Sirius, Trio simultaneously Disarm him, eventually Lupin and Sirius force Peter to transform back, etc.). "Glee! This should be good."

It was appalling.

Harry was okay. Lupin was slightly disappointing. Hermione was silly, but then this is a middle-aged man reading a fourteen-year-old girl's lines. Sirius was eyebrow-raising, rather weird actually; I guess maybe he's trying to get that "this man has hardly spoken during his twelve years in prison" thing, but I'm not sure it worked. And Snape-- well.

I know we can't all be Alan Rickman, or Snapecast's Chris for that matter. But honestly, even I do a better Snape voice (she says, dropping pitch, drawing words out more slowly, and seasoning to taste with contempt).

That? That was -- that was Gargamel.

I only got to "GET OUT OF THE WAY, POTTER!" (about three pages in) before I just couldn't take any more. I was embarrassed just to be listening to it. He would have done much better just to read it all straight.

Is the Stephen Fry version any better, or should I not bother my squishy little head about it? (Then again, I might never be able to get over the idea that I was having Harry Potter read aloud to me by the Guide.)

audiobook editions

I borrowed the new PoA audiobook we got in at work, thinking it might be a bit of a laugh. I wondered how much Jim Dale would tend to voice acting rather than straight reading. I took a guess at what would be a good bit and popped in the ninth disc, which happily turned out to start with "The Servant of Lord Voldemort" (Snape shows up in the Shack, argues with Lupin, threatens Sirius, Trio simultaneously Disarm him, eventually Lupin and Sirius force Peter to transform back, etc.). "Glee! This should be good."

It was appalling.

Harry was okay. Lupin was slightly disappointing. Hermione was silly, but then this is a middle-aged man reading a fourteen-year-old girl's lines. Sirius was eyebrow-raising, rather weird actually; I guess maybe he's trying to get that "this man has hardly spoken during his twelve years in prison" thing, but I'm not sure it worked. And Snape-- well.

I know we can't all be Alan Rickman, or Snapecast's Chris for that matter. But honestly, even I do a better Snape voice (she says, dropping pitch, drawing words out more slowly, and seasoning to taste with contempt).

That? That was -- that was Gargamel.

I only got to "GET OUT OF THE WAY, POTTER!" (about three pages in) before I just couldn't take any more. I was embarrassed just to be listening to it. He would have done much better just to read it all straight.

Is the Stephen Fry version any better, or should I not bother my squishy little head about it? (Then again, I might never be able to get over the idea that I was having Harry Potter read aloud to me by the Guide.)

is that a wand in your sleeve or are you just stiff?

One thing that annoys me in fic is when people keep their wands up their sleeves.*

Why not try this easy experiment? (Kids, get your parents' permission first!)

Get something that's slender and roughly a foot long. (If you have nothing else, a ruler will do.) Put on a long-sleeved garment if you are not already wearing one. Slide your "wand" up one of the sleeves. Either the inside or the outside of your arm will work for the purpose of this test. Make sure you get it all in there, so the tip disappears under your sleeve cuff.

Now try bending your elbow.

Yeah, that's what I thought.


I'm no gorilla, but my sample wand, about 13" long, goes halfway up my bicep to begin with. Even an 11" (what, don't you have multiple wands sitting around your house?) slides hopelessly back out when I bend. If I prevent it from doing so, it jabs out the other end, by the elbow.

All in all, not the most practical storage location. (I always imagined robe pockets designed for the task.)


* - If anyone can point out to me where this is done in canon, then I'll have a piece of that crow pie, thanks, but it would only mean JKR has no idea what she's talking about (no! you're kidding!).

is that a wand in your sleeve or are you just stiff?

One thing that annoys me in fic is when people keep their wands up their sleeves.*

Why not try this easy experiment? (Kids, get your parents' permission first!)

Get something that's slender and roughly a foot long. (If you have nothing else, a ruler will do.) Put on a long-sleeved garment if you are not already wearing one. Slide your "wand" up one of the sleeves. Either the inside or the outside of your arm will work for the purpose of this test. Make sure you get it all in there, so the tip disappears under your sleeve cuff.

Now try bending your elbow.

Yeah, that's what I thought.


I'm no gorilla, but my sample wand, about 13" long, goes halfway up my bicep to begin with. Even an 11" (what, don't you have multiple wands sitting around your house?) slides hopelessly back out when I bend. If I prevent it from doing so, it jabs out the other end, by the elbow.

All in all, not the most practical storage location. (I always imagined robe pockets designed for the task.)


* - If anyone can point out to me where this is done in canon, then I'll have a piece of that crow pie, thanks, but it would only mean JKR has no idea what she's talking about (no! you're kidding!).