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On the 2nd I posted about "Some fic summaries that horrified me so much I didn't even read them for the trainwreck value" and called it "the what were you thinking? awards". Well, it seems ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mctabby got there way ahead of me, and has in fact collected 42 very long installments, with many comments each, of these bad summaries xe calls "Summary Executions". I extremely suggest you read some of them. Even though "extremely suggest" doesn't sound quite grammatical, I am doing it anyway. Ha.
If I need to incite you further: Occasionally people write hilarious bits of fic as though these awful summaries were prompts.
Summary: Yet another Severus breaks up with Harry because he deserves better fics.
magistera writes:
The door slammed open and Harry stood behind it, eyes flashing. "Damn it, Severus, talk to me," he demanded. "You won't return my owls, your Floo is closed, you don't show up at meals. What the hell is the matter with you? I thought you loved me!"
Snape rounded on him immediately, brandishing a sheaf of computer paper as though it were a weapon. "This, Potter?" he sneered. "I am to be expected to read this?" His nostrils flared as he read the title of the story he held in his hand. "Harry Potter and the Horntail's Hornswoggle," he mocked in a childish tone. "Harry returns to Hogwarts after the summer with a new look and a new plan: to find a way to use Potions to melt the Potion Master's heart." He snorted. "This is utter crap, Potter, and it's the third such abomination you've visited on me this month. I can't stand it anymore - I refuse to be your beta unless you come up with better fic for me to read."
As he stalked toward the door, another thought hit him, and he turned around to cast one more parting shot at Harry's gaping expression. "Also, would it kill you to learn to use spellcheck?"
mctabby got there way ahead of me, and has in fact collected 42 very long installments, with many comments each, of these bad summaries xe calls "Summary Executions". I extremely suggest you read some of them. Even though "extremely suggest" doesn't sound quite grammatical, I am doing it anyway. Ha.If I need to incite you further: Occasionally people write hilarious bits of fic as though these awful summaries were prompts.
Summary: Yet another Severus breaks up with Harry because he deserves better fics.
magistera writes:The door slammed open and Harry stood behind it, eyes flashing. "Damn it, Severus, talk to me," he demanded. "You won't return my owls, your Floo is closed, you don't show up at meals. What the hell is the matter with you? I thought you loved me!"
Snape rounded on him immediately, brandishing a sheaf of computer paper as though it were a weapon. "This, Potter?" he sneered. "I am to be expected to read this?" His nostrils flared as he read the title of the story he held in his hand. "Harry Potter and the Horntail's Hornswoggle," he mocked in a childish tone. "Harry returns to Hogwarts after the summer with a new look and a new plan: to find a way to use Potions to melt the Potion Master's heart." He snorted. "This is utter crap, Potter, and it's the third such abomination you've visited on me this month. I can't stand it anymore - I refuse to be your beta unless you come up with better fic for me to read."
As he stalked toward the door, another thought hit him, and he turned around to cast one more parting shot at Harry's gaping expression. "Also, would it kill you to learn to use spellcheck?"