cutting room floor

[arcanetrivia]

This line has to go because it doesn't fit with the different tone I am trying to take in this fic I am frantically revising, but I thought y'all might enjoy it as an "extra":

...undoing the various fastenings of his clothing in a threatening sort of way. (This was a rather tricky thing to achieve, but Severus Snape had a lot of practice turning everyday actions into threats.)

Comments

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

"...Giving his butter a menacing glare, he attempted to subdue the hardened mass by pummeling it onto his crumpet with the butter knife..."

Heehee... you're right!

[arcanetrivia]

Pummeling? Can you really pummel with a knife, even a butter knife, even the flat bits? Maybe "by smearing it like so much innards of his enemies..."