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I had to write an 8-line epitaph for my English class… I did one on Severus! ... Comment???
Very well.
It's terrible. It doesn't really say anything. It has neither rhyme nor meter. You misspelled Hufflepuff. And you ripped off StuartZX's "Bohemian Polka" PPP fanvid for your punchline. I hope your teacher gives you zero marks and takes points from your house.
Also, you misspelled "snake" as "snack", which makes hilarious nonsense of your "snake-faced bastard" epithet for Voldemort. Let's see... maybe a Hostess Sno-ball? (Other interpretations of "snack-faced bastard" are left as an exercise for the soon-to-be-horrified reader.)
As an antidote to your craziness, my own similarly-titled ficlet, Epitaph, with particular emphasis on recognizing when you should just put the keyboard down and back away slowly.
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I didn't actually leave this review, but I am sure thinking it as hard as I can. *facepalm*
Very well.
It's terrible. It doesn't really say anything. It has neither rhyme nor meter. You misspelled Hufflepuff. And you ripped off StuartZX's "Bohemian Polka" PPP fanvid for your punchline. I hope your teacher gives you zero marks and takes points from your house.
Also, you misspelled "snake" as "snack", which makes hilarious nonsense of your "snake-faced bastard" epithet for Voldemort. Let's see... maybe a Hostess Sno-ball? (Other interpretations of "snack-faced bastard" are left as an exercise for the soon-to-be-horrified reader.)
As an antidote to your craziness, my own similarly-titled ficlet, Epitaph, with particular emphasis on recognizing when you should just put the keyboard down and back away slowly.
---
I didn't actually leave this review, but I am sure thinking it as hard as I can. *facepalm*
no subject
Date: November 20th, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC)From:On a serious note, I have to restrain my criticism sometimes with wee hob, who is 12 and has some educational delays. It's hard not to go right into fixing what he writes, but what he really needs now is encouragement and questions that spark further movement in the right direction, towards having an actual plot or theme or something.
When I am old and he is a famous novelist, I can say it's because I let him write tales about giant spiders when he was 12.....
no subject
Date: November 20th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)From:Nah, I dunno, I feel I'm being snarky enough as it is without providing the original, or a link to it. Not that the search function has ever worked on FFN, for me anyway, but you know, I don't want to encourage people to actually snipe at her in person (although I would hope people I have on my flist are more mature than that?).