>VERBOSE

A twisted sort of love story, pieced together from the uncandied letters of a man who loved and lost thrice.

Wait -- what kind of letters, now?

(Maybe the author meant "not sugarcoated"?)

"After Arthur Weasley was attacked at the ministry he [Harry] was required to take Occulumency lesions with Snape."

*sporfle* Uhhhmm....

Harry knew once he woke up naked in that field that the whole train station was him on the prepuces of death.

Um.

I think the word they wanted was "precipice".

This has its own charm though.

If by "charm" I mean that it furnishes the idea for an interesting oath like "Azrael's foreskin!"...

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

This issue features some assistance from my lovely husband enotsola.

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Hermione Jean Granger is in reality Isabella Roseanna Dumbledore, the only grand daughter of Albus Dumbledore.

Also known as Isabella Roseanne Roseannadanna Dumbledore.



In the summer before her fifth year, she was called into ihs office one day and asked to do the unthinkable and marry Severus Tobias Snape.

Given how many fic authors and fangirls do apparently think about it... I do not think this word means what you think it means.

and his middle name isn't Tobias dammit

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Kiki Suicide Rose goes to hogwarts skewl dna meets her new boi. see whjat happens as kiki tries to make ti through her seventh year at da skwel.

Thank you for your interest, miss, but I'm afraid we are not seeking a replacement for My Immortal at this time.

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harry comes back from the future to save the lifes of those that he loves; in progress

When he gets that broom up to 88 miles an hour...

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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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Hermione and snape are in a difficult position...i suck at summarys XD but enjoy!took me a couple of mins 2 do:

"Marvellous; I have always wanted to perfect my Gordian knot impersonation."

"Shut up."

"Let the record show that it was your idea to enroll in this yoga class."

"Shut up."

"To St. Mungo's, then? It's a good thing one needn't move very much to Apparate."

"Shut UP, potion face!"

"I'm sure none of their experienced staff will give it a second thought when we materialize on their lobby floor like two fleshy, hairy pretzels."

"I said SHUT UP, you insufferable dungeon-dwelling excuse for a bipedal bat!"

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Deathly Hallows Spoilers:Severus Snape is still alive

That's not a spoiler; that's a cosmic truth.

when Lily speaks to him saying he must prepare a potion that brings her back to life.

Yeah, that ought to work well on nearly-twenty-year-dead remains. What could possibly go wrong?

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(the entire summary)

Severus is becoming a dad!

Er, it's an intriguing work, Herr Kafka, but may I make a few editorial suggestions...?

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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

Bonus crack!ficlet in this one, but beware of puns. Please wear appropriate safety equipment to avoid lethal exposure.

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The afterlife of Severus Snape and other characters. This is a religious story, believe it or not, but Sev does go "down south," but I love him anyway: .

All right, "The Devil Went Down to Hogwarts"! I love this song!

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After years of believing that he was dead, Severus Snape is seen by none other than Hermione Granger.

Unfortunately, she happens to see him just donning his silvery, translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower. Insert girly squeal here.

They easily become friends, and maybe even more.

"Easily"? Must be AU then.

How many chances can one man truly get?

Well, how much money did one man truly put up for casino chips?

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I think I need serious help. I just filked an Oklahoma! song in a babb_chronicles post:

[the fic quote:] It was a beautiful day, Voldemort was dead, dead, dead!

There's a faint golden haze over Hogwarts,
There's a dawn-golden haze over Hogwarts
Tom got it all wrong 'bout that ol' Elder Wand
An' it looks like his downfall went just as was planned

Oh, what a beautiful mornin',
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I got a beautiful feelin'
Voldemort has died today.

All the students are standin' like statues,
All the house elves are standin' like statues
They don't turn their heads as they see me walk by,
But Neville Longbottom is winkin' his eye.

Oh, what a beautiful mornin',
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I got a beautiful feelin'
Voldemort has died today.

All those mem'ries from Snape in the Pensieve,
All those mem'ries from Snape in the Pensieve
They kind of disturbed me 'bout him an' my mum,
But I guess I could still name a kid after 'um!

Oh, what a beautiful mornin',
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I got a beautiful feelin'
Voldemort has died today.

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(In my defense, I have precedence within my own life. We did this musical in high school, and a few of the boys filked some of the songs and performed them at one of the cast parties. There was supposed to be some sort of Los Angeles theme, as I recall, which is pretty rich for a bunch of kids from the south San Francisco Bay. "There's a dark smoggy haze on the skyline..." is all I remember of this one. Better "Everything's Up to Date in Kansas City": "I counted twenty drive-bys in the neighbourhood / Every time I tried to push some pot / 'Nen I put my ear to a 900 number an' a strange womern started talkin' hot" "To you?" "What next!"...)

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones, but they had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way. Sometimes the fics are horrible, but most frequently they're simply mediocre, and occasionally there's a perfectly good one that just had a funny slip-up in the summary.

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HG/SS Oneshot! Hermione is pissed! Harry is toast.

That's what you get if you cast while intoxicated.

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written for Snape100 Ancite and Snupin Cynical slash implied and character death

Cynical slash, hmmm... is that written on the premise that no matter what you do, all men are bastards?

Wait, that's not cynical; that's true.

Wait, that's kind of the definition of cynical.

*asplode*

JK Rowling still owns and gains for the Potterverse.

No, no, she gains by the Potterverse.

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Semi-AU After Snape dies he wakes in a world of mages and sorcerers

Yeah, now that's AU.

where the mightiest of them all, the Sorceress, gives him the Seal of the Sorcerers,a powerful artifact. When he returns to the wizarding world, there is a darkness only he can dispel

Because only he has the matches.

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Misspelling of the day:

the Slytherin conman room

harry finds severus hurt in the perfects. what happens after that? do they find love? or will the hate continue?

Any suggestions as to just where on his body Severus's "perfects" are located?

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Heir to a Somalian Warlord and raised in a world ruled by guns, drugs and violence, what happens to Harry when his past catches up to him after 10 years in Africa? How will he adapt to a world of magic that expects their ‘pure’ saviour? eventual HPSS

I don't have anything particularly witty to say about this one. I think that just happens to be the most utterly random choice for an alternate reality fic I've ever seen.

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Saffi has worked up the courage to tell her parents about her new boyfriend - a man 18 years her senior. How will Hermione and Severus react to Saffi's arguement that it is simply tradition.

I'm not sure whether I'm disappointed or relieved that this didn't turn out to be an Absolutely Fabulous crossover. But what I really want to know is how Hermione talked Severus into a name like Saffi Snape.

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Snape's daughter is coming to Hogwarts and follow adventues as she struggles between loalty to her father and lolalty to her friends.

lolalty n. Something this summary possesses a fair bit of.

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AU,postwar. A classical accident has an unlikely result.

"Classical accident"? Like, your symphony orchestra's bus crashes and burns?

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Harry gets drenched in a half made Potion by a little blonde menace and reverts back to his 1 year old self. And a certain potions master slowly falls in love with him.

D: Yikes! Now that's extreme chan!

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harry potter is obsesed with severus snape. But snape isn't a healthy choice for a crush Slash

Oh? And why not? Is he -- ahem -- greasy food?