(no subject)

[arcanetrivia]

I had to write an 8-line epitaph for my English class… I did one on Severus! ... Comment???


Very well.

It's terrible. It doesn't really say anything. It has neither rhyme nor meter. You misspelled Hufflepuff. And you ripped off StuartZX's "Bohemian Polka" PPP fanvid for your punchline. I hope your teacher gives you zero marks and takes points from your house.

Also, you misspelled "snake" as "snack", which makes hilarious nonsense of your "snake-faced bastard" epithet for Voldemort. Let's see... maybe a Hostess Sno-ball? (Other interpretations of "snack-faced bastard" are left as an exercise for the soon-to-be-horrified reader.)

As an antidote to your craziness, my own similarly-titled ficlet, Epitaph, with particular emphasis on recognizing when you should just put the keyboard down and back away slowly.

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I didn't actually leave this review, but I am sure thinking it as hard as I can. *facepalm*

Comments

[helen99.livejournal.com]

This review is no doubt much more enjoyable reading than the referenced fic. In fact, it sounds like a good start of a story in which Severus is a literary critic, grading English papers, or both...

("Is there any reason you didn't teach grammar instead of potions?")

[elethian.livejournal.com]

Oh my. *giggles* You just know he would always turn out to be damnably, infuriatingly correct. Makes my Virgo senses go all tingly. ;)

I read a line in a fic once where Sirius accused Severus of thinking up the most complicated possible syntaxes for whatever it was he wanted to say before actually speaking. Severus shot back that he'd be impressed to hear a word like "syntax" from Sirius, if he didn't know that it constituted his mental exercise for the year. ;) I, of course, thought "heeyyyyy now, I do just what he's accusing Severus of, sometimes..."