arcanetrivia | from the Department of Unhelpful Conversations

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from the Department of Unhelpful Conversations

Me: So, Severus-storyteller, tell me: if you were in this situation [warning: NWS art], how would you react? *poised to take dictation from the muse*

Severus: *pauses thoughtfully* Well, I would say "I'd have a mental breakdown," except for the small fact that if I did find myself in that situation, it could only be because I'd already had one.

Me: THAT DOESN'T HELP ME WRITE A STORY KTHX. ... ya jerk.

...Me: *tries to work that line in anyway*

(I suppose I could try to write a story where Severus had gone insane well before events resulted in the tableau seen there, but that seems way too long and involved, and a rather too weird interpretation of the picture.)

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...

...and now, my brain is forcibly replaying the old "Antler Dance" routine they used to use on Saturday Night Live, back in the 70s. Shall I simply forward the therapy bills?

Heheh. Well, keep in mind it was done for a specifically Beltane-themed exchange, so while weird, it's not crack in its context.

In the aftermath of battle, Harry goes off in search of a sandwich. He encounters Draco, Who offers a truce. Harry accepts. Draco says let's smoke on it. He leads Harry to Prof Snape's private stash of grade-A grass, hidden in his dungeon office, and they take it outside, away from the castle and the crowd. A saved-by-Fawkes Sev intercepts them and is mad at them for bogeying HIS weed. Stoned hilarity ensues in the forest.

lol. No way. Having smoked weed all of three times in my life, I have aboslutely not the proper experience to write such a scene. It would come off totally obviously written by someone who has no idea what they are talking about.

So far I'm trying to go on the dream idea you suggested.

WHAT KIND OF A CALIFORNIAN ARE YOU??? :-D Seriously, all you need to know is that it's a mood-altering substance that lowers inhibitions and makes the users horny and hungry and goofy. I was going to suggest drunk instead of stoned, but then the guys might not rise to the occasion. And I kinda like the idea of Sev having a private stash...

WHAT KIND OF A CALIFORNIAN ARE YOU???

One that has no idea where to get the stuff? heheh.

one word: imperius

That's... pretty dark. On whose part? Harry's? Draco's, maybe?

Draco! I mean really...anyone who would dance like a World Of Warcraft character in a set of horns must be Dark!

Poor Severus, suffering like that. XD

*Backs away from the Snarry, because I absolutely can't stand it as a pairing* The artwork is gorgeous, though. Especially the fire; it's stunning.

I think the other poster was right - drugs, or a nightmare/really weird dream brought on by drugs.

Or you could actually try for a more serious in tone fic.

I'm so hugely writer's-blocked that humour is pretty much my only option, I think.

Hmm ... AU ish idea. Maybe the healers give Severus some really extra-strength stuff while he's at St. Mungo's recovering from Nagini's bite?

You know, the problem with taking a humorous tone with this is that (according to the artist's notes) this is an expression of her religion, and while you're writing the fic for another person, since it's inspired by this artist's art, she's going to check it out (I know I would) and she *might* get offended at a humorous interpretation. I don't know the artist, so I don't know if that would happen, but that would be one of my concerns. You could always ask her if she minds you interpreting it humorously, though. (Just thought I'd point that out in hopes of avoiding any possible wankage.)

and while you're writing the fic for another person, since it's inspired by this artist's art

No, you've misunderstood. It's a direct paired exchange. She is supposed to do an illo for one of my fics. But I'm a little personally familiar with

venturous1 (well, LJ-personally-familiar) -- she's among the fandom people I've known longest -- so I think she'd understand it was good-natured. Plus as a Pagan and ex-Wiccan myself I have the proper tools to satirize gently.

Here nor there, the piece of crack I have so far is so gimmicky I don't want it to see the light of day. If nothing better hits in the next couple of days I'm going to withdraw, as that will leave a clear month for whoever picks up her request to put something together.

Ahh, okay, I didn't understand. And if you know the artist, then that's fine. I tend to catastrophize.

If none of the art is doing it for you, maybe you could ask her for a 4th choice. Would the mods allow that?

I'm sure she would. I think it was specifically stated that once the pairs were matched up you were encouraged to trade contact info and work together however you wanted, pick different fics, art, whatever. I'm out of time though, really.

*snerk* I love you sev...

So do I, really. Just sometimes he's... difficult.

I'm still confused on why you're writing a fic for the art. Was that pre-arranged?

That's a beautiful piece of art, but I'm gonna have to go with hallucination.

On whose part, I'm not entirely certain. I could make a case for any of them. I'd probably go with Harry, tho. This could be one of those things where he's dreaming and sees his Patronus come up, then his patronus turns into Draco, then Snape shows up and they fuck, and Harry wakes up going "Uhwahh?"

Just my two cents.

Harry processing newfound guilt about misjudging Severus all those years, and wishing he could make it up to him? :-D Bonus if the story ends with Severus surviving and walking in right after Harry wakes up...

I'm still confused on why you're writing a fic for the art. Was that pre-arranged?

That's the style of the exchange. Artists draw for existing fics, writers write for existing artworks. Each person posted links of three works they'd like to have arted/written.

What were the other choices? Were they any more inspiring?

Ack, sorry about the anon comment. New, improved, reply-to-able comment is reply-to-able!

No. I haven't gotten anything off any of them.

If the Muse is unwilling to co-operate, it's no use forcing it. Maybe, as someone else suggested, some other piece of her art might do it for him. I know that sometimes SeverusMuse will put the entire story in my head at once, and it will just flow from my fingers. Other times, it takes me forever to write a single paragraph of text. I've learned to just do stuff that interests HIM, because it's just easier that way. If he doesn't want to get involved with something, he'll just say, "Well, good luck with all that", pour himself a scotch, pick up a magazine, and leave me to go it alone. And THAT'S certainly no fun for me.

Another idea for the fic, although you might have already thought of it. An AU where the three of them barely know each other ( Maybe Severus left England before the first war and just now returned?, Draco went to Durmstrang?) and end up coming together at the festival. The smut and antler wearing then ensues.

I'll stop now ....

That's a very good idea! but one I am unlikely to be able to write (S/D/H threesome? umm...), and almost certainly not to write enough of by tomorrow night that I would feel confident of having it in postable condition by the end of August.

Nah, it wouldn't *have* to be an actual threesome. It's just that Draco is in the pic so he'd be a voyeur at least.

Well, it's really too bad that you think you might have to drop out :(

Well, after looking at the artwork in question, I have to say that if it is humor you are going for in this story, then in my mind at least, it just doesn't get any funnier than:

"Severus: *pauses thoughtfully* Well, I would say "I'd have a mental breakdown," except for the small fact that if I did find myself in that situation, it could only be because I'd already had one."

That had me rolling on the floor. Ah Severus, that sweet, sweet sarcasm - it gets me every time! :-)

that sweet, sweet sarcasm

Now you sound like me. I mean, I used those words exactly the other day. In that arrangement, even. ;)

lol

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