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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.
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Hermione and snape are in a difficult position...i suck at summarys XD but enjoy!took me a couple of mins 2 do:
"Marvellous; I have always wanted to perfect my Gordian knot impersonation."
"Shut up."
"Let the record show that it was your idea to enroll in this yoga class."
"Shut up."
"To St. Mungo's, then? It's a good thing one needn't move very much to Apparate."
"Shut UP, potion face!"
"I'm sure none of their experienced staff will give it a second thought when we materialize on their lobby floor like two fleshy, hairy pretzels."
"I said SHUT UP, you insufferable dungeon-dwelling excuse for a bipedal bat!"
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Deathly Hallows Spoilers:Severus Snape is still alive
That's not a spoiler; that's a cosmic truth.
when Lily speaks to him saying he must prepare a potion that brings her back to life.
Yeah, that ought to work well on nearly-twenty-year-dead remains. What could possibly go wrong?
-----
(the entire summary)
Severus is becoming a dad!
Er, it's an intriguing work, Herr Kafka, but may I make a few editorial suggestions...?
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(This one isn't that bad, but I think I'd like to invoke something I saw justifying the Rifftrax of Casablanca, which was that a movie didn't need to be bad to be ripe for riffing; it just needed to take itself seriously. I think the fic takes itself less seriously than the summary makes it sound, but hey, it's the summary I'm interested in here. A lot of this silliness is based off first impressions. Now you know.)
Spell Mistress Hermione Granger is in dire danger.
Gosh, that's a lot of letters; I'm not sure if I can do it. M-I-S-T-R-E-S-S...
Albus calls on the staff for assistance.
I told you to take the wizard's staff...!!
Hmm...why is everyone male?
Well, he did say staff, not distaff. If he wanted the females, he should have been more specific.
HG/SS PLUS.
(warning: 'merican joke ahead)
Damn it! My ATM card only shows Cirrus and STAR. Does that mean I can't, ah, withdraw from this fic?
Eventually turns HG/SS.
Oh, vampire!fic, I see.
Not for straight HG/SS shippers or under 18 years old.
So... only mature queer folks should be reading this?
And geez, I mean, I like sexings and all, but this line from the A/N kind of frightens me:
Possible HG/SS/LM/DM/HP/RW/FF/RH/F/AF/AD/MD.
Um. I guess I should at least be glad that there's a doctor at the end of all that carrying on.
-----
Be careful, read and review.
Thank you for your interest and suggestion, but I think we're going to stick with Give a hoot – don't pollute.
It's interesting, but some may not like it.
Why, yes! Yes, it is interesting that some may not like it! Tell me more about how I, or others, may not like it.
-----
The order comes up with a way to make two lovebirds fall in love
Can the Nobel Prize be far behind?
and you ask how they answer KAROKE!
And I am told that they answer it misspelled.
-----
After a very special 17th birthday party, Harry seeks the affection of Severus once more to find him somewhat resilient.
He is not best pleased to learn that Fred and George have swapped his beloved Potions master for a boiled leather replica, and quickly plots his revenge.
-----
It's almost a month away before Hermione's 7th year at Hogwarts, the war is over and Voldemort is no more. Harry is a living hero and is his faithful sidekick.
Uh, wait, hang on... a living hero is the sidekick of a dead villain?
Hermione's had enough as they are getting all credit for her work and escapes to Hogwarts.
"I work my fingers to the bone researching all that necromancy, not to mention commissioning that absurd suit and cape, just so that Harry can go poncing around hero-ing it up at a spectral Voldemort's side, and do I get one iota of recognition? Even so much as a 'This partnership was made possible by the generous contribution of Hermione Granger' footnote on their calling card? What a couple of bastards! Bollocks to them!"
-----
A love story starting from the Marauders era to teaching Severus Snape has fallen in love with Albus Dumbledore's daughter Yuna, she is everything he has ever wanted, but love isn't the easiest road to follow....
Yes, well, you can teach that idea that all you like, but it's still just a theory; what the Bible says is OH HELL NO.
-----
Hermione reflects on the sacrifice and death of one Severus Snape.
It's a start; only 21,722,394 Severus Snapes to go!
-----
What happens when Harry runs into Snape, doing the last thing he though his potion professor would do?
His eyes abruptly widened to the size of the saucer Snape appeared to be fashioning, and he turned and ran in a terror. As his legs pumped and his lungs heaved, his mind raced: the wheel -- the apron -- the dish of water -- the flecks of wet clay! Could it be? Was Snape... a potter?!
Snarry Lemony Fluffy
Mmm, slash meringue pie...
-----
harry and severus are living in snape manor and dear god Darco walks in on something that he rather not walk in on
"Why are you wearing that stupid Slytherin Seeker suit?"
"Why are you wearing those stupid Potions master and Gryffindor Seeker suits?"
this is a squeal to true colors
*fangirls Cyndi Lauper liek woah*
I reconmend you read that before you read this one
reconmend v. To reconstruct the past in hopes of fixing mistakes. See retcon.
-----
Hermione and snape are in a difficult position...i suck at summarys XD but enjoy!took me a couple of mins 2 do:
"Marvellous; I have always wanted to perfect my Gordian knot impersonation."
"Shut up."
"Let the record show that it was your idea to enroll in this yoga class."
"Shut up."
"To St. Mungo's, then? It's a good thing one needn't move very much to Apparate."
"Shut UP, potion face!"
"I'm sure none of their experienced staff will give it a second thought when we materialize on their lobby floor like two fleshy, hairy pretzels."
"I said SHUT UP, you insufferable dungeon-dwelling excuse for a bipedal bat!"
-----
Deathly Hallows Spoilers:Severus Snape is still alive
That's not a spoiler; that's a cosmic truth.
when Lily speaks to him saying he must prepare a potion that brings her back to life.
Yeah, that ought to work well on nearly-twenty-year-dead remains. What could possibly go wrong?
-----
(the entire summary)
Severus is becoming a dad!
Er, it's an intriguing work, Herr Kafka, but may I make a few editorial suggestions...?
-----
(This one isn't that bad, but I think I'd like to invoke something I saw justifying the Rifftrax of Casablanca, which was that a movie didn't need to be bad to be ripe for riffing; it just needed to take itself seriously. I think the fic takes itself less seriously than the summary makes it sound, but hey, it's the summary I'm interested in here. A lot of this silliness is based off first impressions. Now you know.)
Spell Mistress Hermione Granger is in dire danger.
Gosh, that's a lot of letters; I'm not sure if I can do it. M-I-S-T-R-E-S-S...
Albus calls on the staff for assistance.
I told you to take the wizard's staff...!!
Hmm...why is everyone male?
Well, he did say staff, not distaff. If he wanted the females, he should have been more specific.
HG/SS PLUS.
(warning: 'merican joke ahead)
Damn it! My ATM card only shows Cirrus and STAR. Does that mean I can't, ah, withdraw from this fic?
Eventually turns HG/SS.
Oh, vampire!fic, I see.
Not for straight HG/SS shippers or under 18 years old.
So... only mature queer folks should be reading this?
And geez, I mean, I like sexings and all, but this line from the A/N kind of frightens me:
Possible HG/SS/LM/DM/HP/RW/FF/RH/F/AF/AD/MD.
Um. I guess I should at least be glad that there's a doctor at the end of all that carrying on.
-----
Be careful, read and review.
Thank you for your interest and suggestion, but I think we're going to stick with Give a hoot – don't pollute.
It's interesting, but some may not like it.
Why, yes! Yes, it is interesting that some may not like it! Tell me more about how I, or others, may not like it.
-----
The order comes up with a way to make two lovebirds fall in love
Can the Nobel Prize be far behind?
and you ask how they answer KAROKE!
And I am told that they answer it misspelled.
-----
After a very special 17th birthday party, Harry seeks the affection of Severus once more to find him somewhat resilient.
He is not best pleased to learn that Fred and George have swapped his beloved Potions master for a boiled leather replica, and quickly plots his revenge.
-----
It's almost a month away before Hermione's 7th year at Hogwarts, the war is over and Voldemort is no more. Harry is a living hero and is his faithful sidekick.
Uh, wait, hang on... a living hero is the sidekick of a dead villain?
Hermione's had enough as they are getting all credit for her work and escapes to Hogwarts.
"I work my fingers to the bone researching all that necromancy, not to mention commissioning that absurd suit and cape, just so that Harry can go poncing around hero-ing it up at a spectral Voldemort's side, and do I get one iota of recognition? Even so much as a 'This partnership was made possible by the generous contribution of Hermione Granger' footnote on their calling card? What a couple of bastards! Bollocks to them!"
-----
A love story starting from the Marauders era to teaching Severus Snape has fallen in love with Albus Dumbledore's daughter Yuna, she is everything he has ever wanted, but love isn't the easiest road to follow....
Yes, well, you can teach that idea that all you like, but it's still just a theory; what the Bible says is OH HELL NO.
-----
Hermione reflects on the sacrifice and death of one Severus Snape.
It's a start; only 21,722,394 Severus Snapes to go!
-----
What happens when Harry runs into Snape, doing the last thing he though his potion professor would do?
His eyes abruptly widened to the size of the saucer Snape appeared to be fashioning, and he turned and ran in a terror. As his legs pumped and his lungs heaved, his mind raced: the wheel -- the apron -- the dish of water -- the flecks of wet clay! Could it be? Was Snape... a potter?!
Snarry Lemony Fluffy
Mmm, slash meringue pie...
-----
harry and severus are living in snape manor and dear god Darco walks in on something that he rather not walk in on
"Why are you wearing that stupid Slytherin Seeker suit?"
"Why are you wearing those stupid Potions master and Gryffindor Seeker suits?"
this is a squeal to true colors
*fangirls Cyndi Lauper liek woah*
I reconmend you read that before you read this one
reconmend v. To reconstruct the past in hopes of fixing mistakes. See retcon.
no subject
Date: June 13th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)From:Summary snipped
Heehee...
(and I bet that's funnier than the actual fic...)
when Lily speaks to him saying he must prepare a potion that brings her back to life.
Yeah, that ought to work well on nearly-twenty-year-dead remains. What could possibly go wrong?
Just ask the Elric brothers; trying to bring your dead loved ones back to life is a MARVELOUS idea!
Severus is becoming a dad!
These are the end days!
The order comes up with a way to make two lovebirds fall in love and you ask how they answer KAROKE!
The answer is never Karaoke. Never. EVER.
What happens when Harry runs into Snape, doing the last thing he though his potion professor would do?
His eyes abruptly widened to the size of the saucer Snape appeared to be fashioning, and he turned and ran in a terror. As his legs pumped and his lungs heaved, his mind raced: the wheel -- the apron -- the dish of water -- the flecks of wet clay! Could it be? Was Snape... a potter?!
[facepalm]
[images the scene from Ghost, but Harry and Snape.]
Damn you.
Snarry Lemony Fluffy
Mmm, slash meringue pie...
Fluffy? So... it's a bestiality fic...?
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry...
harry and severus are living in snape manor and dear god Darco walks in on something that he rather not walk in on
Karaoke?
this is a squeal to true colors
*fangirls Cyndi Lauper liek woah*
[joins you]
o/~ "I won’t worry
And I won’t fret
Ain't no law
Against it yet..." o/~
no subject
Date: June 15th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)From:Damn you.
Ew. Ew ew ew ew. Now I'm sorry I said that.
walks in on something that he rather not walk in on
Karaoke?
*snerk*
no subject
Date: June 16th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC)From:Damn you.
Ew. Ew ew ew ew. Now I'm sorry I said that.
Hee... I'm so evil.
walks in on something that he rather not walk in on
Karaoke?
*snerk*
I'm not even that adverse to karaoke (I've actually never been subjected to it), but after my previous comment, the joke just sort of wrote itself. ^_^
no subject
Date: June 15th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)From:"And geez, I mean, I like sexings and all, but this line from the A/N kind of frightens me:
Possible HG/SS/LM/DM/HP/RW/FF/RH/F/AF/AD/MD.
Um. I guess I should at least be glad that there's a doctor at the end of all that carrying on."
And a potter...oh lawdy...
no subject
Date: June 15th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: June 15th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)From: