long time no summarize

[arcanetrivia]

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

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(this story has been deleted)

Severus is good at being a spy, but his most guarded secrets are about to light.

And then we can start grilling the steaks.

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Dont read this unless you want to die. Seriously.

What is this, The Ring?

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What happens when the great J.K. Rowling not me, of course has problems with punctuation?

Oh no, not YOU, of course.

MADNESS! No slash.

*gasp* No slash? That IS madness!!!

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The night was humid and Severus Snape was alone with his thoughts and pain.

Oh, does his hair frizz up in that kind of weather too? Poor dear.

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Tell me what you think! pLeAsE!

I think sTuDlYcApS are really annoying and awfully slow to type.

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How does it feel to be missed?

A bit more satisfying than a tax refund.

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Looking for a sev/harry fic help me please

Sorry, but there's no help for that affliction.

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Harry and Severus are out for a meal, rated high for bad language

I don't usually like bad language with my meal, but you could try yelp.com...

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Harry gets a look at a completely different side of his Professor

At the (100%) risk of repeating myself... "Ooh... nice ass, Professor!"

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Hermione will do anything to make Severus Snape hers, even if she has to go to extremes and become his personal paparazzi. A songfic with slightly dark humor. SS/HG, Post-DH but AU and EPE.

Epilogue? Pah! Epilogue?
Epilogue? Piffle! Epilogue?

...?

(Balderdash and Piffle?)

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(this story has been deleted)

Harry is turned into girl and is draco's twin. Please help!

Did you try rebooting the fanfic?

Comments

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Maybe the author feels that only suicidal people can possibly appreciate the fanfic? Wow, the Internet has opened up new markets.

Humidity: Why do you think he wears his hair so greasy? It's the only thing that stops the terrible frizz, especially in damp Scottish weather. You think he looks silly now, imagine him with hair bushier than Hermione. (Is that why she's after him? She wants his personal formula for de-frizzer!)

Also, why does Snape need a personal paparazzi? Does he want someone to be harassed by cameramen and stalked and asked nagging, stupid questions? Hey, Hermione can do that last bit at least... but who is he siccing her on?

"DARK LORD TRUTHS REVEALED! Exclusive Quibbler Interview! With Photos!!! by H.Granger"

...ok putting down the coffee now and going away really

[arcanetrivia]

Also, why does Snape need a personal paparazzi? Does he want someone to be harassed by cameramen and stalked and asked nagging, stupid questions? Hey, Hermione can do that last bit at least... but who is he siccing her on?

I think she's siccing herself on him. Why she thinks he wants to be paparazzaed (paparazza would be a feminine singular I think? and there I go sticking English participle endings on, lol) is beyond me. News flash, Granger, that's not likely to work with that one as a courtship technique.

[mimimanderly.livejournal.com]

I've entertained the theory (which is much more fun than entertaining PEOPLE, I assure you) that Severus didn't have greasy hair so much as he had baby fine hair that frizzed in humid weather and was fly-away in dry weather. (Voice of experience, here.) So he used some sort of hair oil to keep it under control, with the unfortunate result that it also made it look greasy. I mean the guy is so fastitious otherwise, I'm sure that he's not actually frigfhtened of getting his hair wet!

Telling me that a story could kill me is a sure way to make me curious enough to read it. It did not kill me. It did, however, make me want to kill the author. Perhaps she should threaten to kill them if they DON'T read her story. It was so bad that I'm certain it was written by a Vogon!

[arcanetrivia]

So he used some sort of hair oil to keep it under control, with the unfortunate result that it also made it look greasy.

Hope that's working out for him, because I've yet to find the comparable substance, like Hermione's Sleekeazy's, that would work on coarse wavy hair in humidity. (Well, I suppose I could always try axle grease, but that's probably going a bit far.)

Also: there's a good possibility the house he grew up in had just an outdoor toilet and not a bathroom per se, and washing with a basin is a pain, not something you likely want to go to the trouble of doing every day (especially if it's cold). One assumes he had better accomodations at Hogwarts, but he seems to be a creature of habit.

[fenm.livejournal.com]

No, that first one should read, "...his most guarded secrets are about Light". It's gonna be a cross-over with Death Note.

*gasp* No slash? That IS madness!!!

Hey, not everybody like Guns 'N Roses, ok?

Tell me what you think! pLeAsE!

He tAkES CarE Of tHe PlaCE WhIle The MaSTeR iS AwAy...

Sorry, but there's no help for that affliction.

Hey, I resemble that remark!

Harry and Severus are out for a meal, rated high for bad language

That'll happen when you eat English food.

Epilogue? Pah! Epilogue?
Epilogue? Piffle! Epilogue?
...?

Epilogue, Phucking Epilogue.

[arcanetrivia]

He tAkES CarE Of tHe PlaCE WhIle The MaSTeR iS AwAy...

LOL, now why didn't I think of that?

Sorry, but there's no help for that affliction.
Hey, I resemble that remark!

I resemble it too. I kid because I love. ;)

[fenm.livejournal.com]

LOL, now why didn't I think of that?

I'm... borderline obsessive about MST, so... yeah...

I resemble it too. I kid because I love. ;)

Oh, I know. ^_^

[arcanetrivia]

I'm... borderline obsessive about MST, so... yeah...

And I'm not? Granted, my free time which used to be taken up with playing endless MST episodes and cataloguing my favourite riffs (yes, really) is now taken up with reading Harry Potter fanfic, by and large... but I've been involved in writing a fan production for something like a year or more, it's pretty obsessive.