>VERBOSE

Well, it turns out you can't mass-edit post security to a custom filter, only to Public/Friends/Private. Mass-editing to Private would have been a bit of a pain because it means I can't look at my own stuff while logged into my other account, and I don't want to deal with LJ-sec, so. I guess I'm just leaving everything as-is. But I am starting to feel rather useless around here. I do not get much happiness out of fandom (but then it seems I cannot get enjoyment out of anything these days, even stuff I know I ought to, like my husband telling me he loves me, or fic that used to be the kind of thing that really got me excited; everything feels dull and flat), mostly reinforcement of my inferiority, so what is the point? Any time I start to feel like maybe I had something going, I manage to piss someone off. I just want to belong someplace and, if you'll allow the fanciful idea, to make Severus happy. I've been banging my head on it for three years and seem to have failed you and him both miserably. What I deserve is to be erased, and I know that, but it still hurts.