(no subject)

[arcanetrivia]

Now what in the Sam Scratch......?


(click to embiggen; full width is somewhere over 1300px)

(From The Order of the Pheonix and Holy Fuck People! Voldemort Might Not Have a Nose but Y'all Have Eyes Would You Please Fucking Use Them?!)

Comments

[nostalgia]

i assume dumbledore doesn't canonically fuck goats?

[arcanetrivia]

No, but there's some naughty hints about his brother Aberforth, owner of the Hog's Head pub in Hogsmeade, which is what those tags are referring to:

‘My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practising inappropriate charms on a goat.

The Hog’s Head bar comprised one small, dingy and very dirty room that smelled strongly of something that might have been goats.


‘Oh, Aberforth is just the tip of the dungheap,’ laughs Skeeter. ‘No, no, I’m talking about much worse than a brother with a fondness for fiddling about with goats,

But there were any number of things that would seem incredible about Dumbledore; that he had once received bottom marks in a Transfiguration test, for instance, or had taken up goat-charming like Aberforth ...

‘He were a headcase, that Aberforth,’ says Enid Smeek, whose family lived on the outskirts of Godric’s Hollow at that time. ‘Ran wild. ’Course, with his mum and dad gone you’d have felt sorry for him, only he kept chucking goat dung at my head.

And his Patronus (the Patronus spell summons a kind of spectral guardian animal and the form is unique to each wizard) is a goat.

[nostalgia]

OH MY GOD HIS BROTHER FUCKED GOATS.

[delphipsmith]

Well, all we know for sure is that he charmed them. Maybe he just liked to have them look at him with big puppy-dog eyes ;)

[thisbluespirit]

Wow, that is quite something, that is. :lol:

[arcanetrivia]

It sure is.

[perverse_idyll]

There is nothing whatsoever about this that would convince me to click on it. Actually, I would have stopped at "Pheonix," but by the time we get to "picture (Nagini) talking like beyonce in bootylicious," I've glazed over and am more than ready to be elsewhere.

[delphipsmith]

I went and checked, because I could not help myself. The author is a pretty good writer, actually, and their AU version of the books is interesting and well written so far -- not at all what I expected from the silly tags.

[perverse_idyll]

Out of curiosity, I followed the link, and I agree - the first few paragraphs are not what I would have predicted, either in tone or style. The tags must be how writers advertise these days. Maybe it's Tumblr's influence? The platform seems to run on tags.

Also, I need to learn to withhold judgement - this writer wipes the floor with me when it comes to kudos and feedback. Hoisted on my own snobbery! There's just something about a wall o' performative tags that signals "bad writer" to me. Rec lists or comms used to be helpful in cases like this - someone would brave the bad impression and then post a positive review.

[delphipsmith]

There's just something about a wall o' performative tags that signals "bad writer" to me - I agree. I'm thinking about leaving them a kindly worded message suggesting that they may be turning off some serious readers. You think that would be OK?

[perverse_idyll]

If you haven't already posted, I'd refrain. Many of the over-taggers know exactly what they're doing and who they're appealing to - and they don't handle even a kindly meant suggestion well. These days the prevailing attitude toward perceived concrit is offense. Tagging like this is … I guess it's a kind of in-group language, and the assumption is, if you don't speak it, that's your problem, not theirs.

I could be wrong, since I don't know this author at all. But I tend to steer clear of excesses I associate with Tumblr; it makes for a calmer fannish experience all around.

[delphipsmith]

::dies:: Mildly annoying, I'm sure, to the Tag Wranglers over at AO3, but still hilarious.

Out of curiosity I followed the link, and actually this person is quiet a good writer. I'm enjoying their re-imagining of the books!