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Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones, but they had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way. Sometimes the fics are horrible, but most frequently they're simply mediocre, and occasionally there's a perfectly good one that just had a funny slip-up in the summary.
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RWSS slash. One shot. Severus Snape brings home a different man every night, yet on Christmas Day he receives a truly unexpected gift.
"What is this atrocity? Please tell me it's merely that Father Christmas has gone insane, and that there is not actually a living human being out there who has seen fit to send me this."
Ron looked up at the thing Severus was holding, sighed, and shook his head. "Oh, that. Weasley jumper. S'pose it was only a matter of time, really, us shagging like this and all. Mum's got to be up to about three dozen every year by now. Frankly, I think she's starting to go a bit mental."
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Harry finds out whom is real sire is and Severus isn't too happy with Remus. Ronald Bashing! Rated just in case and for language and violence. Father Son fic/ not romantic!
By this point, one of Snape's eyes was quivering and throbbing and bulging out of his skull as though it were about to literally explode. Harry thought it must be rather painful, but Snape, seemingly oblivious, plunged ahead with his tirade:
"REMUS FUCKING LUPIN, YOU FILTHY FURRY BASTARD! YOU DID WHAT WITH LILY?!"
...splortch.
(Fortunately, Ronald Bashing was a dab hand with ocular healing spells.)
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Hermione is sent back in time on a mission to find someone, but it isn't at all easy. She faces leaps and bounds- join in on her hectic ride...
So what's it say in Hogwarts, A History about the hundred-meter dash and the triple jump, hmmm Miss Know-It-All?
...Please review- my first fan fic. I DO NOT OWN JK ROWLINGS HARRY POTTER.
I DO HOWEVER OWN MY HARRY POTTER WHICH I NOW PRESENT TO U. HA HA THAT'S CALLED BAIT AND SWITCH HOW DID U LIKE IT.
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Non Cannon story of HG/SS. Short story done in one chapter.
Non cannon? Awww. I was hoping for pirates an' stuff.
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Danzella Panterra has had alot of bad things happen in her life.Will a move to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry help?
I'd have suggested a legal name change. On the other hand, maybe it would be good for her to get away from those mad people she's been calling parents.
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Severus is sent by Albus to retrieve Harry from the Dursleys. The ministry has made Hogwarts his official home. Severus saves harry's life. He then finds himself falling in love: Vampire fic!...
"Snape, come on, you've had them forever!"
"For the last time, Potter, you shall have your Anne Rice and Laurell K. Hamilton collections back when I am good and ready."
...HP/SS, HP 15 SS ... Yaoi L, BDSM, S&M, more inside! Darn sum li
Don't blame the sum li (whatever that is). You're the one who apparently spilled your Chinese food on your keyboard.
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Harry always knew he was diffrent but just before his 16th birthday he receives a package and a letter from Lily that will change the way he views the world forever. dark harry, SevXharry later chapters manip Dumbledore. i suck at summeries story is bette
It has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Bette Davis's eyes, I am sure?
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Harry Potter; looks like a boy, dresses like a boy, must be a boy. Right? girl!harry, utilitarian!dumbledore eventual 'slash'
"Slash", ha! So people say. Personally, I'm dubious that such a thing even exists. I certainly haven't ever seen any of it. Have you?
"Utilitarian!Dumbledore"? Oh, I see. He's a Leatherman.
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A One shot possable adding more for it afterard about Minreva and Snape dont expect any more Im VERY bad at completing storys. Just Something sweet that brewed in my head MM/SS Ship oviasly
"Minreva" and Snape hope there won't be any more, at least. As for what they expect... well, let's just say that Severus is not exactly famed for his happy-go-lucky outlook on life.
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Detention with Snape, likes it's never been had before
Uh, I beg to differ.
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Story about a new Divitions teacher ...
Glad to see they've at last decided to teach math at Hogwarts.
...and Snape May change to higher...
It would be kind of you to do so. "Changing to higher" would probably help Severus endure this.
How does that rhyme go, again? "A thirty-first day hath Snape May..."?
...Rating depends how I write it up. Opal is my own creation
Ayyup, that's how ratings work, all right. And I suppose you invented the internet, too?
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AU 7th year Hermione has a secret and is not too delighted when she is discovered by Snape during a Potions class. He, however, becomes quite intrigued...no romance, sorry
Severus is moonlighting as a talent scout?
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Desperate to hide the secret in her womb, Hermione commits herself into a ward for the lost and forgotten of the Wizarding world. Death defied Snape, leaving him in the same ward. Can the two come together, saving each other from their own fate?
Ooh, insubordination? Severus'll have that out of Death's paycheck for weeks..
-----
Harry's coping with the aftermath of the war, but not very well. It seems the line breaks in the formatting have disappeared...oh dear.
Now, when he looks at the world, he just sees this:
-----
In an alternate universe, three Dark Lords rule both the Wizard and the Muggle worlds with an iron fist. Now they plan an invasion of the canon Potterverse. But as shocking as this is, it is the identities of the Dark Lords that is truly horrifying.
So horrifying, in fact, that I can reveal but one of their names to the uninitiated:
Curly.
-----
RWSS slash. One shot. Severus Snape brings home a different man every night, yet on Christmas Day he receives a truly unexpected gift.
"What is this atrocity? Please tell me it's merely that Father Christmas has gone insane, and that there is not actually a living human being out there who has seen fit to send me this."
Ron looked up at the thing Severus was holding, sighed, and shook his head. "Oh, that. Weasley jumper. S'pose it was only a matter of time, really, us shagging like this and all. Mum's got to be up to about three dozen every year by now. Frankly, I think she's starting to go a bit mental."
-----
Harry finds out whom is real sire is and Severus isn't too happy with Remus. Ronald Bashing! Rated just in case and for language and violence. Father Son fic/ not romantic!
By this point, one of Snape's eyes was quivering and throbbing and bulging out of his skull as though it were about to literally explode. Harry thought it must be rather painful, but Snape, seemingly oblivious, plunged ahead with his tirade:
"REMUS FUCKING LUPIN, YOU FILTHY FURRY BASTARD! YOU DID WHAT WITH LILY?!"
...splortch.
(Fortunately, Ronald Bashing was a dab hand with ocular healing spells.)
-----
Hermione is sent back in time on a mission to find someone, but it isn't at all easy. She faces leaps and bounds- join in on her hectic ride...
So what's it say in Hogwarts, A History about the hundred-meter dash and the triple jump, hmmm Miss Know-It-All?
...Please review- my first fan fic. I DO NOT OWN JK ROWLINGS HARRY POTTER.
I DO HOWEVER OWN MY HARRY POTTER WHICH I NOW PRESENT TO U. HA HA THAT'S CALLED BAIT AND SWITCH HOW DID U LIKE IT.
-----
Non Cannon story of HG/SS. Short story done in one chapter.
Non cannon? Awww. I was hoping for pirates an' stuff.
-----
Danzella Panterra has had alot of bad things happen in her life.Will a move to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry help?
I'd have suggested a legal name change. On the other hand, maybe it would be good for her to get away from those mad people she's been calling parents.
-----
Severus is sent by Albus to retrieve Harry from the Dursleys. The ministry has made Hogwarts his official home. Severus saves harry's life. He then finds himself falling in love: Vampire fic!...
"Snape, come on, you've had them forever!"
"For the last time, Potter, you shall have your Anne Rice and Laurell K. Hamilton collections back when I am good and ready."
...HP/SS, HP 15 SS ... Yaoi L, BDSM, S&M, more inside! Darn sum li
Don't blame the sum li (whatever that is). You're the one who apparently spilled your Chinese food on your keyboard.
-----
Harry always knew he was diffrent but just before his 16th birthday he receives a package and a letter from Lily that will change the way he views the world forever. dark harry, SevXharry later chapters manip Dumbledore. i suck at summeries story is bette
It has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Bette Davis's eyes, I am sure?
-----
Harry Potter; looks like a boy, dresses like a boy, must be a boy. Right? girl!harry, utilitarian!dumbledore eventual 'slash'
"Slash", ha! So people say. Personally, I'm dubious that such a thing even exists. I certainly haven't ever seen any of it. Have you?
"Utilitarian!Dumbledore"? Oh, I see. He's a Leatherman.
-----
A One shot possable adding more for it afterard about Minreva and Snape dont expect any more Im VERY bad at completing storys. Just Something sweet that brewed in my head MM/SS Ship oviasly
"Minreva" and Snape hope there won't be any more, at least. As for what they expect... well, let's just say that Severus is not exactly famed for his happy-go-lucky outlook on life.
-----
Detention with Snape, likes it's never been had before
Uh, I beg to differ.
-----
Story about a new Divitions teacher ...
Glad to see they've at last decided to teach math at Hogwarts.
...and Snape May change to higher...
It would be kind of you to do so. "Changing to higher" would probably help Severus endure this.
How does that rhyme go, again? "A thirty-first day hath Snape May..."?
...Rating depends how I write it up. Opal is my own creation
Ayyup, that's how ratings work, all right. And I suppose you invented the internet, too?
-----
AU 7th year Hermione has a secret and is not too delighted when she is discovered by Snape during a Potions class. He, however, becomes quite intrigued...no romance, sorry
Severus is moonlighting as a talent scout?
-----
Desperate to hide the secret in her womb, Hermione commits herself into a ward for the lost and forgotten of the Wizarding world. Death defied Snape, leaving him in the same ward. Can the two come together, saving each other from their own fate?
Ooh, insubordination? Severus'll have that out of Death's paycheck for weeks..
-----
Harry's coping with the aftermath of the war, but not very well. It seems the line breaks in the formatting have disappeared...oh dear.
Now, when he looks at the world, he just sees this:
-----
In an alternate universe, three Dark Lords rule both the Wizard and the Muggle worlds with an iron fist. Now they plan an invasion of the canon Potterverse. But as shocking as this is, it is the identities of the Dark Lords that is truly horrifying.
So horrifying, in fact, that I can reveal but one of their names to the uninitiated:
Curly.
no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 10:55 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 11:01 am (UTC)From:This:
Desperate to hide the secret in her womb
I read as, she had something secret, and decided to stash it in her womb for safekeeping. The womb of holding! :D
no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: October 29th, 2008 02:50 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 12:55 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)From:LOL! The best ones always involve Severus. Either he's being paired off with someone ridiculous (Minreva/Minerva?!) or he's doing something completely OOC. He can't help being such a sexy beast.
no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)From:""What is this atrocity? Please tell me it's merely that Father Christmas has gone insane, and that there is not actually a living human being out there who has seen fit to send me this."
Hee!
no subject
Date: October 28th, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)From:ZOMG.
Date: October 29th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)From:The Dark Lord says: "Hey Moe!"
And you've got it wrong: Utilitarian!Dumbledore clearly means Dumbledore has the hots for those shiny fiddly objects he kept on his shelves, including the Leatherman and several very startling Swiss Army knives. Or else it involves a Utilikilt, which are gaining in popularity among wizards who like a proper breeze around their privates.
Re: ZOMG.
Date: October 30th, 2008 08:21 am (UTC)From:But... but.. gay men... "leather-men"... utilitarian... aw man, you know a joke's too esoteric if someone smack in the middle of the audience that should get it is clueless. :(
Re: ZOMG.
Date: October 30th, 2008 08:32 am (UTC)From:But now it's funny again, because I misread this as Unitarian!Dumbledore, and am picturing Dumbledore giving a sermon-thingie at a Unitarian Universalist church-thing and ... okay, not that funny I guess.
Look over there! Dumbledore is surrounded by hunky, hairy men in chaps! Oh dear God I didn't need the mental image of Dumbledore in chaps, can you tell I'm under-medicated today or what?