![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.
Bonus crack!ficlet in this one, but beware of puns. Please wear appropriate safety equipment to avoid lethal exposure.
-----
The afterlife of Severus Snape and other characters. This is a religious story, believe it or not, but Sev does go "down south," but I love him anyway: .
All right, "The Devil Went Down to Hogwarts"! I love this song!
-----
After years of believing that he was dead, Severus Snape is seen by none other than Hermione Granger.
Unfortunately, she happens to see him just donning his silvery, translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower. Insert girly squeal here.
They easily become friends, and maybe even more.
"Easily"? Must be AU then.
How many chances can one man truly get?
Well, how much money did one man truly put up for casino chips?
-----
(There's really nothing wrong with this one. It even seems to be set during the canon Yule Ball, rather than one of the random ones that crop up in so many fics as if it were an American high school prom. But... I had to. I fear the compulsion may be genetic.)
Severus Snape hates Christmas. When he's forced to attend the Yule Ball it was mandatory he is in a fowl mood. Does he chose to stand along the wall inside the Great Hall, or take up Lara Miller's invitation to dance?
Severus knew from the beginning that, festive holly boutonniere or no, the costume was a total cock-up. He sighed and belatedly wished he hadn't allowed himself to get his feathers all ruffled. But even a drunken bet was a bet, and he didn't want to be the one with egg on his face.
The mirror clucked at him as he preened himself one last time, disparaging both his ailing comb and his grooming technique. "We shouldn't like to be you right now, my chick," it said disdainfully. "It'd just gall us! Gall us!"
Severus sneered back at the mirror (albeit the effect was somewhat lessened from his usual) and turned up his beaky nose; he wasn't going to be henpecked by any piece of glass. Finishing his ablutions, he sighed a second time, however. If there had to be a short straw, why did he always have to pull it?
Well, there was nothing for it; it wasn't going to do any good to stay cooped up in here all night brooding. He might as well go out to the ball and find a comfortable, dark corner to roost in. He might be a sneaky, loophole-in-the-rules-of-the-forfeit-finding git, but he was no chicken.
-----
Severus looks back on a moment in his life where he lose a frined and reveils why he became a teacher.
Ah, re-veil it as many times as you like, Severus; nothing is safe from the quill of Rita Skeeter, which is shot with aim so true that Robin Hood himself would be Lincoln -- or should we say acid -- green with envy!
-----
Sawyer Snape is the illegitimate daughter of Severus Snape, when Snape allows her to go to school under the alias name Sawyer Streem what will happen to their relationship as father and daughter?
Does Injun Joe come into it anywhere?
or:
♫ A modern day O.C.
Weird weird type
Today's Snape: Sawyer
Headdesk time... ♫
-----
Barty/Regalus *SLASH* Regalus was always on early
Man, I know! It was so hard to get a decent weekend morning's sleep-in with that guy in your dorm! (So "Regalus" was well-regulated?)
Barty decided to change that crap summary i know
Good for you, Barty! Change that crap summary! I knew you'd amount to something someday!
-----
He hated this week. Every year it came, and every year he hated it. Hated it and loved it, as he loved her.
And now we are pleased to present that beloved Christmas classic, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch Who Loved Lily.
Rated for mentions of drinking. Challege fic for 13figureskater's Caroline. SSLE one-sided implied. Snape, Lily, unicorns,
I should probably put down the YouTube and back away slowly, but all I can think is "We're going to Candy Mountain, Sevvie! Candy Mountain!!"
Moaing Myrtle,
So it's her fault the moa are extinct?
Beatles.
The only genuine talent in this fic. (Spot the MST3K ref!)
-----
Randomness what does it have to do with peanut butter? Snape is out of character so if you don't like it don't read!
Nah, 's no good. I tried using peanut butter as a random number seed once and my code was licking the roof of its mouth for hours.
-----
DO NOT ATTEMPT! IF you do, we are not responsible. It's just funny!
*tsks* I expected so much more from MythBusters fanfic.
-----
lily just got killed by the dark lord and ended up on deaths door. what will death tell her about why she's there?
I'm sensing imminent games of Battleship and Twister.
Bonus crack!ficlet in this one, but beware of puns. Please wear appropriate safety equipment to avoid lethal exposure.
-----
The afterlife of Severus Snape and other characters. This is a religious story, believe it or not, but Sev does go "down south," but I love him anyway: .
All right, "The Devil Went Down to Hogwarts"! I love this song!
-----
After years of believing that he was dead, Severus Snape is seen by none other than Hermione Granger.
Unfortunately, she happens to see him just donning his silvery, translucent dressing gown after a ghostly shower. Insert girly squeal here.
They easily become friends, and maybe even more.
"Easily"? Must be AU then.
How many chances can one man truly get?
Well, how much money did one man truly put up for casino chips?
-----
(There's really nothing wrong with this one. It even seems to be set during the canon Yule Ball, rather than one of the random ones that crop up in so many fics as if it were an American high school prom. But... I had to. I fear the compulsion may be genetic.)
Severus Snape hates Christmas. When he's forced to attend the Yule Ball it was mandatory he is in a fowl mood. Does he chose to stand along the wall inside the Great Hall, or take up Lara Miller's invitation to dance?
Severus knew from the beginning that, festive holly boutonniere or no, the costume was a total cock-up. He sighed and belatedly wished he hadn't allowed himself to get his feathers all ruffled. But even a drunken bet was a bet, and he didn't want to be the one with egg on his face.
The mirror clucked at him as he preened himself one last time, disparaging both his ailing comb and his grooming technique. "We shouldn't like to be you right now, my chick," it said disdainfully. "It'd just gall us! Gall us!"
Severus sneered back at the mirror (albeit the effect was somewhat lessened from his usual) and turned up his beaky nose; he wasn't going to be henpecked by any piece of glass. Finishing his ablutions, he sighed a second time, however. If there had to be a short straw, why did he always have to pull it?
Well, there was nothing for it; it wasn't going to do any good to stay cooped up in here all night brooding. He might as well go out to the ball and find a comfortable, dark corner to roost in. He might be a sneaky, loophole-in-the-rules-of-the-forfeit-finding git, but he was no chicken.
-----
Severus looks back on a moment in his life where he lose a frined and reveils why he became a teacher.
Ah, re-veil it as many times as you like, Severus; nothing is safe from the quill of Rita Skeeter, which is shot with aim so true that Robin Hood himself would be Lincoln -- or should we say acid -- green with envy!
-----
Sawyer Snape is the illegitimate daughter of Severus Snape, when Snape allows her to go to school under the alias name Sawyer Streem what will happen to their relationship as father and daughter?
Does Injun Joe come into it anywhere?
or:
♫ A modern day O.C.
Weird weird type
Today's Snape: Sawyer
Headdesk time... ♫
-----
Barty/Regalus *SLASH* Regalus was always on early
Man, I know! It was so hard to get a decent weekend morning's sleep-in with that guy in your dorm! (So "Regalus" was well-regulated?)
Barty decided to change that crap summary i know
Good for you, Barty! Change that crap summary! I knew you'd amount to something someday!
-----
He hated this week. Every year it came, and every year he hated it. Hated it and loved it, as he loved her.
And now we are pleased to present that beloved Christmas classic, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch Who Loved Lily.
Rated for mentions of drinking. Challege fic for 13figureskater's Caroline. SSLE one-sided implied. Snape, Lily, unicorns,
I should probably put down the YouTube and back away slowly, but all I can think is "We're going to Candy Mountain, Sevvie! Candy Mountain!!"
Moaing Myrtle,
So it's her fault the moa are extinct?
Beatles.
The only genuine talent in this fic. (Spot the MST3K ref!)
-----
Randomness what does it have to do with peanut butter? Snape is out of character so if you don't like it don't read!
Nah, 's no good. I tried using peanut butter as a random number seed once and my code was licking the roof of its mouth for hours.
-----
DO NOT ATTEMPT! IF you do, we are not responsible. It's just funny!
*tsks* I expected so much more from MythBusters fanfic.
-----
lily just got killed by the dark lord and ended up on deaths door. what will death tell her about why she's there?
I'm sensing imminent games of Battleship and Twister.