>VERBOSE

I think people have been doing better than usual lately, because it's taken me a while for me to build up even this many, and this only a half batch. (A full batch would be 10; I settled on that as a kind of standard to stop me building up huge pools of way-too-many, and now... this?)

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones, but they had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way. Sometimes the fics are horrible, but most frequently they're simply mediocre, and occasionally there's a perfectly good one that just had a funny slip-up in the summary.

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Hermione is a cheaufur's daughter who is in love with the young son of the wealthy family they serve. A re-telling of the 1950's movie 'Sabrina' with your favorite Harry Potter charaters

cheaufur n. Someone who wears a plush suit in the design of a car-driving manservant.

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(The entire summary. This one's not bad, but I was too amused by this idea.)

Another fragment of Snape.

Awesome! I've almost got the whole set. Better start making that Sticking Solution to assemble them with...

( Bonus crack!ficlets at the end of this one. )

Some random f-lister mentioned a dream, and that made me OMG remember that I'd had a dream of a Certain Type last night: Severus/Sirius, with hidden voyeuristic masturbating Harry.

Whoa, dude.

Dudes, check out the awesome little comment ficlet kerrisokol wrote for me on my latest summaries post!

Happy birthday, slashpine!

You pointed at this picture and requested something with either Severus or a young "Snape-like" Albus Severus and computers. I don't think Al came out very "Snape-like" here (more like "some Snapeish references"), but I hope you enjoy this anyway!

Title: Heavy Wizardry
Characters: Potter family featuring mainly Harry and Albus Severus
Genre: Gen/humour
Rating: G
Words: ~1150
Summary: Albus Severus is a right little geek, he is.
Warnings: Unbetaed, unBritpicked silliness.
A/N: The title refers to the hackish sense of "wizard".


Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

*****

( Albus was only five years old when he started asking if he could have a computer. )

via melusinahp:

1. The first character I fell in love with: Severus. Dur-hay. But...

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:...this is probably true too. I mean, I always liked him, but I fell hard after DH. (Yeah, I'm one of those.)

Also, Regulus. Never thought much about him before fandom, but fandom taught me to love him too.

3. The character everyone else loves that I don't: Luna. She's all right, don't get me wrong, but a lot of people seem to be over the moon (no pun intended) and she just kinda rubs me the wrong way, especially in the films.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates: I'm not a fan of any of the real underdogs like Grawp, so I don't think I have an answer for this. Where Marauder-hate is common, then I could say Sirius.

5. The character I used to love but don't any longer: Maybe Harry, actually? I kind of fell out of sympathy for him. He became less someone I could identify with and root for as the series went on.

6. The character I would shag anytime: Severus, but he needs to be reasonably like the one in my head. No bait-and-switch with a scary creature out of the mind of Mary GrandPre, nor impossible bishie Sev. I'm all for pretty boys with long dark hair, but that's different. If you cross a certain line it's just not Severus anymore, and it's him that I... aaamm not going to wax fangirly about because language like that belongs in a fanfic in someone else's mouth. Ahem.

Sirius too, I think. JKR might have me on "bad boy syndrome" there, but the question wasn't "who would you have a long-term relationship with". :P (What was that I was saying about pretty boys with long dark hair that weren't Severus?)

I say "boys", but I am thinking somewhere age 23-28 (I can haz newbie Professor Snape plz?), and also not the 48 they'd both be if they were canonically alive right now. I've gotten over ~20-year age differences as an a priori turnoff in fic, but my own real-life tolerance is about age 20-35 (depending on, uh, stuff).

7. The character I'd want to be like: I don't think there are any. Rowena Ravenclaw lol. Like there's enough to go on there.

8. The character I'd slap: I'd like to give Dumbles a poke in the twinkly eye sometimes, but you don't really go around slapping 110-year-old wizards, now, do you?

9. A pairing that I love: Severus/Lily. Severus/Sirius. Severus/Regulus. Sirius/Regulus (just to prove it's not all about Severus :P ).

10. A pairing that I despise: I don't despise any; everyone has their tastes, even if I don't understand them. There's a lot of Severus pairings I don't like, though (/Minerva, /Moody, /Shacklebolt, /Dumbledore, /Arthur, /Bellatrix except under certain angsty/drama circumstances, the list goes on). Draco/Hermione. Fenrir/anyone.

This icon makes me giggle so much. (by iconfluence in citadel_icons)



I keep picturing a filming outtake:

ALAN: Know what it is?
DAN: Bubble juice, sir?
ALAN: Veritaserum. *pauses*
ALAN: *gets a blank look on his face*
ALAN: *has entirely forgotten the rest of the line*
ALAN: ...dumbass.
DAN: *completely cracks up*

“The locket tried to choke me when I got near the sword, remember? The bit of soul inside could sense it. Hermione, could you make me float around the room? We could see if any of the cups react to the sword.”

But Hermione shook her head. “Wingardium Leviosa isn’t meant for very heavy objects, Harry. I doubt I could keep you up for very long.”

“What about this?” said Ron, waving his wand at Harry. “Levicorpus!”

Harry was instantly hoisted into the air by an ankle. He felt the blood rushing to his scalp, and his glasses nearly slid off his nose. “Thanks for the warning!” he shouted down to Ron in cross voice.

“Sorry,” said Ron, suppressing a grin. “But I did owe you.”

*snerk* ...aaaahahahaha! That's great.

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“Harry, yer gonna think I’m crazy but I can’t help thinkin’ maybe Snape’s still on our side after all.”

“WHAT!” Harry shouted. The Welsh Green looked up curiously and Harry quickly lowered his voice. “You can’t be serious. He killed Dumbledore. I saw it.”

“I know, I know,” said Hagrid, holding up one hand in supplication. “But after the fall term began I just started thinkin’…Dumbledore always said that the two people he trusted most were me an’ Snape. And that I had to trust Snape no matter what. No matter what.” Hagrid emphasized. “Yeh know Dumbledore had that black hand all year long, maybe…maybe he was dyin’ already and told Snape ter finish the job. Yeh know, ter keep up his cover.”

Harry bristled at this suggestion – or perhaps it was the knowledge that he was at best third on Dumbledore’s trustworthy list.

*blink* *shifty eyes* *nose crinkle* AHAHAHAHA! Pure Harry. ;)

So, basically, va32h continues to win.

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Hermione set the cauldron down and unpacked it. She knelt on the ground and flipped through the little potions book until she found the correct page. If Hermione was at all nervous or unsure, she hid it well. Her tone and actions were as businesslike and brisk as if she were back in Slughorn’s dungeon, mixing up a class assignment.

This is them mixing up an Annihilation Potion as a way to destroy the Horcrux-cup since their sword appears to be fresh out of basilisk venom. My first thought?

This is no time to be following a standard published recipe! Where's a certain copy of Advanced Potion-Making when you need it??

...yeah, well, I got problems. ;)