>VERBOSE

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

Hermione and Draco are head boy and girl. Draco shows his other side.

"Ooh... nice ass, Malfoy!"

-----

Songfic. Gloomy Sunday Billie Holiday version . Sirius is dead, and Harry longs to be with him. Slash directly stated. M just in case. Depression, character death, suicide, depression, etc.

Also angst, depression, ennui, unhappiness, and depression. Written by Marvin. (Fanfic, don't talk to me about fanfic...)

-----

She didn't know that she would ever be called back, didn't know that her grandmother's status would ever come back and reflect upon her and she certainly didn't know that she could enthrall the Queen's Hound.

Snausages: works every time.

( Read more... )

Note: I unsubscribed from the full-HP feed on FFN that was giving me so much fodder. I just couldn't take it; ~900+ posts a week had me feeling overwhelmed and like this was a chore rather than something I did every now and then for fun. So I will still be making posts like this every so often as I do still have a feed set up for character=Severus Snape, but that's a much slower stream.

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

harrys living in a mad world. but for how long?

Depends on whether he makes friends with Randle McMurphy.

-----

severus and harry are trapped in "la'trap" hotel and not sure why. but they were both dropped there with no clue as how to get out... it's going to be hell staying cooped up with each other..or is it?

A name like "La Trap" wasn't a warning sign?

-----

Harry Potter was Dead. Or at least, just as good as.

Harry Potter was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.

-----

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

Oneshot, Hermione died and somebody has to pick up the pieces.

Since the killer had used liquid nitrogen and a sledgehammer.

-----

A new Fifth Year Girl has the Marauders of Hogwarts feeling nervous and unsafe. What is it about this new girl that has them feeling this way?

Her .50 Desert Eagle?

-----

Here is a story about Harry and his life it will be very AU starting in the muggle world. james and lilly are alive but has not raised harry. he was kidnapped by OC and will live with this man for some years. but he will know about magic slash .

He's in for a treat, then, as those of us who already know about magic slash can tell!

-----

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

(I appear to have lost the link to this one... oops)

Rebecca Johnson is your worst nightmare. Sirius Black is every girl's dream boy. They say that opposites attact... but that's just one part of this couples' story.

elethian: So... Rebecca is the opposite of Sirius? And a Black is the opposite of a Johnson?

enotsola: That's not the way I hear it.

-----

Hogwarts newest 6th yr isn't all that she seems. Selene and Harry

Ohhhh dear god KILL IT WITH FIRE. Selene Tournetquet, no less. (Hmm, suddenly I have a better idea than fire...)

become best friends and as the year goes on find out about all of Dumbledore's manipulations. Soon Draco and his family will become involved with them. Pairing: Selene/Draco Harry/ secret

Who's strong enough for a man, but made for Harry.

-----

(please also note the title of this fic: Salviles Severus Salazar Tobias Prince Snape)

This a story about Severus Snape and Febrir Snape's son. Fenrir Grayback is nice and not a werewolf and not a deatheater.

And heck, just not Fenrir Greyback.

Also i change his apprince and personality. He is considered a female so he can bear children like any female.

Wouldn't it have been faster to start from scratch, rather than disassembling an existing character and putting him back together all backwards and upside-down?

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously; I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

Harry finds his true love in the most unlikely place. Will he be able to have the woman of his heart or will he be doomed to live a life of Unrequited Love.

Sorry, Harry, but there's only room in this series for one dark-haired hero carrying a huge torch for an unattainable woman.

-----

Just a small drabble set in Hermione's and Harry's Transfiguration class. Stupid.

Well excuuuuse me! How was I supposed to know that without reading the summary? Talk about your hostile attitudes, sheesh.

-----

heheheheheheheheheheh XD XD XD XD XDX DX DX XD XD XDX XD XD XD XDX DXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDDXXD

Huh. I didn't know the Joker wrote Harry Potter fanfic.

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

This issue features some assistance from my lovely husband enotsola.

-----

Hermione Jean Granger is in reality Isabella Roseanna Dumbledore, the only grand daughter of Albus Dumbledore.

Also known as Isabella Roseanne Roseannadanna Dumbledore.



In the summer before her fifth year, she was called into ihs office one day and asked to do the unthinkable and marry Severus Tobias Snape.

Given how many fic authors and fangirls do apparently think about it... I do not think this word means what you think it means.

and his middle name isn't Tobias dammit

-----

Kiki Suicide Rose goes to hogwarts skewl dna meets her new boi. see whjat happens as kiki tries to make ti through her seventh year at da skwel.

Thank you for your interest, miss, but I'm afraid we are not seeking a replacement for My Immortal at this time.

-----

harry comes back from the future to save the lifes of those that he loves; in progress

When he gets that broom up to 88 miles an hour...

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

After HBP. Hermione goes back to Hogwarts alone and looks for the hocruxes.

Hocrux n. A magical artifact that contains a fragment of a witch's soul, enabling her to survive death so that she may continue to skank it up. See also Homione.

-----

Hermione Severus Snape Triplets. Snape death pregnant Hermione one great story.

Is William S. Burroughs doing cut-ups from fanfic now?

thought to be dead, Snape comes back and finds out his wife, has kids that are his, but they are being raised by another man.

"Finds out"? Er... he does know how that must have happened, right? You see, when a wizard and a witch love each other very much...

Uncle Draco what happens now?

"What happens is that you go to sleep, young man. No more stories!"

-----

(the entire summary)

you may read it and not believe it, but don't Mary sue me

Oh, if only one could bring suit for such a thing. I can only imagine what Judge Judy would have to say about this!

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.


-----

(this isn't so bad, and I have to give props for the username "GrannyWeatherwax23", but still I'm amused by a slight misuse of word ending.)

Lily Evans should be ecstatic. James Potter's gotten slightly less insufferable

He's finally come in under her cap of 93% insufferability at the weekly review. (She knows some might think her policy is too strict, but a girl has to have her standards.)

and slightly more charming if either is even possible and she's just been made Head Girl. So why does she look so...melancholic? Severus Snape should know.

Because he's well versed in the theory of the humours.

-----

(the entire summary)

Marauder's map

Mr Moony presents his compliments to the author, and begs her to remember that this has already been written.

-----

Gold, enough gold for a lifetime, and life, enough life for all the gold. A mirror, a mirror which shows one's self, desire. And then there is gold, so much gold.

Scrooge McDuck looks into the Mirror of Erised.

( Read more... )

(yeah, weekend, since I have three-day weekends through Sept. 11. by force, but I have the vacation to cover it so I don't have to work 10-hour days the rest of the week. yay.)

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

“Magic Severus, it does wonderful things.”

*blinks* Did fanfiction.net turn into a sex toy shop when I wasn't looking?

(...and do you think they take PayPal?)

-----

For the summer before 5th year, Severus Snape is sent to Number 5 Privet Dr. to keep an eye on Harry Potter.

Sounds like Mrs. Across-the-Street is in for quite a surprise.

Nothing is more shocking than what he will see when he grudgingly takes this mission.

Then again, maybe it's Severus who's in for one.

( Read more... )

Disclaimer: Do not take too seriously. I am not necessarily saying the fics in question are bad ones. Sometimes they are horrible, but more often they are just mediocre, and sometimes quite okay, but they all had something in their summaries that I found goofy, misused, or amusing in some other way.

-----

Hermione and snape are in a difficult position...i suck at summarys XD but enjoy!took me a couple of mins 2 do:

"Marvellous; I have always wanted to perfect my Gordian knot impersonation."

"Shut up."

"Let the record show that it was your idea to enroll in this yoga class."

"Shut up."

"To St. Mungo's, then? It's a good thing one needn't move very much to Apparate."

"Shut UP, potion face!"

"I'm sure none of their experienced staff will give it a second thought when we materialize on their lobby floor like two fleshy, hairy pretzels."

"I said SHUT UP, you insufferable dungeon-dwelling excuse for a bipedal bat!"

-----

Deathly Hallows Spoilers:Severus Snape is still alive

That's not a spoiler; that's a cosmic truth.

when Lily speaks to him saying he must prepare a potion that brings her back to life.

Yeah, that ought to work well on nearly-twenty-year-dead remains. What could possibly go wrong?

-----

(the entire summary)

Severus is becoming a dad!

Er, it's an intriguing work, Herr Kafka, but may I make a few editorial suggestions...?

( Read more... )